


All You Ever Wanted

by coldplayisawesome



Series: ALIENSSSSSS [2]
Category: Coldplay - Fandom
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe, M/M, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-23
Updated: 2010-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldplayisawesome/pseuds/coldplayisawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Retaw is back! Takes place approximately two years after the beginning of How Infinite is Space?</p>
            </blockquote>





	All You Ever Wanted

"Wake up, Chris Martin," a monstrous voice demanded. It was pitch black- 2:00 A.M., in fact- and Chris was peacefully sleeping until someone (or something) jabbed its finger in his arm. "Wake up!"

Chris swatted at the thing and grunted. Then his tired mind awoke, and he opened his eyes to see a familiar purple face with giant eyes that were staring into his soul.

"Retaw?!" he nearly screamed, until he remembered that Jonny was still sleeping next to him. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"I have a mission for you," Retaw replied, not bothering to quiet down. His giant eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, but the same was not true for Chris.

"No, no more missions. Please!" he added, and turned onto his other side, facing away. Retaw didn't take the hint, and he jumped into the space between Chris and Jonny.

"Please, Chris Martin? It's not the same sort of mission, I promise," he pleaded. "It will be fun, not like last time at all."

Chris sighed and whispered, "Will you sit somewhere else? You're gonna wake up Jonny."

"I'll move if you say yes." Retaw's shining eyes were glossed with hope, and a pleasing grin was dancing upon his purple face. Chris carefully weighed his options.

"Fine," he groaned, throwing the blanket off his body and standing up. "Come on, you can tell me about it out here."

In his tired and agitated state, Chris charged into the kitchen, pulled a cup from the strainer in the sink and filled it with tap water. Retaw tailed him closely and watched with his giant, hopeful eyes. Chris pulled out two chairs that had been shoved in the corner, but Retaw chose to hop on top of the counter. The action placed him at eye level with Chris.

"So, you'll do it?" Retaw grinned. Chris had never really noticed how creepy Retaw could be. It had always been hard to see him from such a high angle, but now Chris could see that not only did his eyes take up two-thirds of his face, his mouth did almost the same. Looking at Retaw was almost like looking at some sort of illusion.

"What's 'it', exactly?" Chris asked, sipping his water. Though Retaw was a kind alien, Chris really did not want to help him again. The last time was a near disaster, and Jonny had almost been killed. Although, Retaw did say it wouldn't be like last time.

"Help me," Retaw answered. He stood still, smiling, teasing Chris with vagueness.

"With what?" Chris was drawing closer to the point of annoyance where he would throw the cup over his shoulder and grip his hands around Retaw's neck, if he had to. It wasn't a place he wanted to be.

"Blending in. I want to be a human, like you and Jonathan!" Retaw jumped to the floor and began to dance in circles. Chris thought it was a bit odd for him to do such a thing.

"You want to be a human?" Chris bit his lip to smother the laughter that was bubbling inside of him, and instead decided to amuse Retaw. "All right, but aren't you a bit short? People will notice that."

"Oh, that's not a problem!" Retaw stopped his movement and closed his eyes. He was like that for several moments, and Chris noticed no change whatsoever until he blinked. Then, suddenly, a six-foot Retaw was standing in front of him.

"Whoa, how did you do that?" Chris asked with wide eyes.

"It's not hard," Retaw chuckled. "I can change my height whenever I like."

"How come you've never done that before?"

"Because, Chris Martin, I have never needed or wanted to. Now, will you teach me to be human?" Retaw asked. Chris set his cup down on the counter and dragged his hand over his eyes.

"How about tomorrow? I need to go back to sleep," he said, stifling a yawn. For a moment, Retaw looked shocked, then pleased as he nodded his head.

"Tomorrow shall be excellent!" he beamed. "Shall I be staying here with you and Jonathan?"

"Um, I guess. The couch in there pulls out into a be-" Chris began, gesturing towards the living room, but Retaw had run off to God knows where. Chris tried to remain calm, and decided the best way to do so would be to stop caring and return to bed. Of course, who should happen to be laying in his spot but Retaw, who had even gone as far as placing the blanket over himself. Chris repressed the urge to smack Retaw, and said, "Get up! That's my spot."

Retaw frowned slightly, then obeyed Chris's order. He laid down on the floor and cradled his head in his hands. "I will sleep here, then," he muttered, and closed his eyes. Chris took one quick look at him, making note of how crazy he was, before drifting back to sleep.

-

Chris opened his eyes and looked down at the floor. To his surprise, the floor was empty.

"Oh, God," he said, a little too loudly.

"What is it?" Jonny sleepily mumbled.

"Retaw's gone." Chris scratched at his scruffy chin, and he felt Jonny move in the bed.

"What?" Chris turned so that he and Jonny were facing each other.

"Retaw... he was sleeping on the floor," Chris replied, finally aware that Jonny had no idea what he was talking about. Jonny propped himself up on his elbow and stared questioningly at Chris.

"Retaw? Chris, that was, like, two years ago," Jonny said, a hint of concern in his voice. "Are you feeling OK?"

"He was here last night. He woke me up for some stupid mission thing." Jonny furrowed his brow, then placed his free hand over Chris's forehead.

"Hmm, you don't feel feverish," he said. "Maybe it was just a dream?"

Chris sheepishly looked away. He hadn't considered the possibility that it was all just some weird dream. After all, it had been two years. Why would Retaw suddenly pop up now?

"Sorry for waking you," he said quietly.

Jonny shook his head and said, "You didn't wake me up. Plus, I'd better be getting ready for work soon."

"Oh, right," Chris halfheartedly smiled. He and Jonny had worked together in the same office at one point, but due to a rule forbidding interoffice relationships, they were forced to either leave or split. The second option was null, so Chris ended up quitting. He wasn't too upset to leave, especially since he thought his new job stocking shelves in the grocery store was fairly enjoyable, though he did miss his old coworkers. "Say hi to everyone for me, yeah?"

"Chris, I always say hi to them for you."

"Good, keep the tradition going." Jonny laughed and kissed Chris.

"I'm gonna make some coffee, do you want any?" Jonny asked as he got out of the bed and began to leave the room.

"Yes, please," Chris answered. As soon as Jonny had disappeared, he began to think back on the night. It felt real; it didn't seem like a dream at all. And why would he suddenly dream about Retaw? That was actually just as peculiar as the thought of Retaw visiting them out of the blue.

Then, from what was presumably the kitchen, a startled scream penetrated the walls. Chris jumped up and ran to see what was the problem. As he reached the room, he heard Jonny speaking with someone.

"Why?" Jonny was asking. Chris slowed his pace and peered into the doorway.

"Chris Martin is going to help me become human, he promised," Retaw replied, beaming.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"I want to stay here on Earth." Retaw's smile faltered. He continued, "Because I missed you two."

Chris involuntarily let out an, "Awww!" and unintentionally made his presence known. Retaw looked over at him, his smile returning as he waved.

"Good morning, Chris Martin!"

"Good morning, Retaw," Chris replied, making his way into the room. He leaned over to Jonny and whispered, "And you thought I was crazy."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Jonny whispered back. "So, Retaw... you're gonna be human, then? Is that why you look so... tall?"

"It sure is! I even tried to fix my face a little this morning," Retaw said, pushing his cheeks back with the tips of his fingers. "It appeared that my eyes were far too large for a human."

"You can say that again," Chris muttered.

"Even compared to yours, they are large," Retaw laughed, and Chris was unsure of whether or not that was supposed to be an insult, so he brushed it off.

"Do you drink coffee, Retaw?" he asked. "Jonny was just about to make some."

Retaw immediately opened his mouth to reply, but he stopped himself. He thought for a few moments, then asked, "Is that a human thing to do?"

"Sometimes," Chris shrugged. "Not everyone drinks coffee."

Retaw sighed in relief and wiped his brow. "OK. No, thank you."

Chris chuckled to himself and turned to Jonny. Jonny raised his eyebrows in a way that said, We need to talk, and Chris nodded.

"Retaw, would you mind waiting out in the living room?" Chris asked. "I'll be out in just a few minutes, and you can watch TV, if you like. It's a pretty human thing to do."

"Gladly, Chris Martin." Retaw nearly skipped out of the room, and Chris had to contain his laughter for what seemed like the eightieth time.

"You're really gonna teach him to be human?" Jonny laughed, messing with the coffee pot.

"I guess so," Chris replied, leaning his back against the counter. "It should be... interesting."

"To say the least," Jonny added. "I just hope he doesn't drive you crazy."

"I've lived with myself for thirty-four years now, and I'm not crazy. I think I can handle this."

"Chris Martin!" Retaw shouted from the other room. "I need your help."

"You better go check on him before he breaks something," Jonny said. Chris chuckled and left, dragging his hand across Jonny's back as he did so. "What is it, Retaw?" he asked as he entered the living room.

Retaw was sitting like a perfect little child on the sofa, legs pressed together and hands clasped neatly in his lap. It was just the thing to cause suspicion.

"Is this how I watch TV?" he asked, staring at the set. It was off, though, and Retaw was merely admiring his reflection.

"A little," Chris said, picking up the remote and hitting the power button, "but it helps if the TV is on." The light clicked on, and Retaw was astounded by the technology before him.

"Oh, my," he gasped, wide eyes fixed on the screen. "This is marvelous!"

"Don't you have TVs where you're from? I remember on the spaceship..." Chris stopped himself from saying, "I was watching the Hills with some other alien dude," and instead said, "... one of the workers was watching TV."

"Yes, we do," Retaw replied, "but not like this."

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it," Chris said, sitting down beside Retaw. He tossed the remote around in the air. "There's not much else to do around here, really."

"This is very educational," Retaw stated. Chris looked at him sideways, eyes slightly narrowed.

"iCarly is educational?" he scoffed. "If you say so."

"I can learn a lot about humans from this, I think," Retaw added.

"I suppose so, but this show is mostly about teenage girls, and their... web-show thing."

"You guys are watching iCarly?" Jonny asked as he entered the room, two steaming mugs in his hands. He took the seat next to Chris, then handed him one of the cups.

"Yep," Chris answered, taking the mug from Jonny. The two then proceeded to have a silent conversation regarding the sanity of Retaw, put across solely in facial expressions. Chris would raise his eyebrows and widen his eyes, then Jonny would crinkle his nose and his twist mouth to the side. They laughed and laughed, and eventually they had given up the conversation and were just making faces at each other, until Jonny realised that he really needed to get ready for work.

"We'll continue this later," he said, winking as he left for the bathroom. Chris smiled, then turned to Retaw, who was studying Chris very carefully.

"Is that something humans do a lot?" Retaw inquired, his purple hands still clasped in his lap. "Do those things with their faces?"

"Oh, um... well, you know, not all the time," Chris nervously replied. "But sometimes, yes."

"When you don't want other humans to know what you are talking about!" Retaw exclaimed, an understanding swelling in his smile. "Very clever, indeed!"

"Yeah, indeed. You're really serious about this human thing, aren't you?" Chris nearly laughed.

"I want to stay on Earth and be among the humans. I missed you and Jonathan dearly over the previous two years, and..." Retaw looked down at the floor, sadness filling his giant eyes. "Well, I wish to stay here, on Earth." Chris could see Retaw's genuineness, and something got to him.

"OK," he said, seriously. "I'm not really sure how to teach you, but I'll try."

"Thank you, Chris Martin. Humans chose those who are closest to them to be declared their... 'best friends', yes?"

"Yeah," Chris slowly replied. "Why?"

Retaw showed a sincere kindness in his smile as he said, "You and Jonathan are my best friends."

-

"OK, Retaw, let's see it!" Chris said through the bathroom door. Retaw had been in there for nearly an hour, sculpting his face to look as human as possible. Chris wasn't too sure how well it would work, but he figured it couldn't hurt to let him try.

Retaw opened the door, and Chris was astounded by what he saw. Despite his purple skin, Retaw looked exactly like any other human male. His cheekbones stuck out a bit, and his jawline was very prominent. His eyes no longer took up two-thirds of his face, rather they took up about a fifth of his face, and left a nice space for his long, pointy nose to fit.

"Do I look human?" he asked, a sort of insecurity apparent in his tone. He placed a hand to his cheek, feeling the smooth skin that stretched across his face.

"You look very human," Chris replied in amazement. "Except for your skin color. People aren't usually purple, unless you're from Doug."

"From Doug?" Retaw dumbly repeated.

Chris shook his head, "Never mind. The point is, you should change that. But otherwise, you're fine."

"Oh, right," Retaw smiled, and closed his eyes. Slowly, the purple faded to a light peach. "Is this all right?"

"That is so cool that you can do that," Chris said. He took a step back and observed Retaw's new face from afar. He was so convincing that Chris nearly forgot he was talking to an alien. "This is amazing, Retaw."

"So, it is all right?"

"It's perfect," Chris told him. "I mean, you don't have any hair, but that's OK. It works for some people."

Retaw smiled, then walked backwards into the bathroom to check himself out in the mirror. "I look wonderful."

Chris walked up next to him, clapped him on the back, and laughed, "You might not want to say that too often, people will think you're conceited."

"Ah! I will make note of this," Retaw said, lifting his hand and tapping his index finger twice on his temple. "Look, Chris Martin, you've already taught me something!"

"So I have," Chris smiled. "And, listen, you might want to stick to calling me just Chris. It's a little weird to call people by their full names all the time."

Retaw's face fell a little, and he sighed, "Oh. This might be hard for me." Retaw seemed a little pained, and Chris looked at him questioningly. "You see," he continued, "your name is not one that my people can say. It's hard to explain, but I think you understand."

"Not really," Chris said, shaking his head. "And I'm sorry, but if you want to be convincing as a human, you're gonna have to try."

"All right, I will try. For you." Retaw took a deep breath, his torso and shoulders rising half a foot as he did so. "Thank you, Chris M-" Retaw caught himself, and bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from finishing. His eyebrows were lowered and his lip began to tremble. He almost looked like he might cry. They both stood still for a few moments, Chris staring at Retaw, wondering why it was so hard for him.

Then, an idea popped out of nowhere into Chris's head. "Retaw, just call me Martin."

"Refer to you by your surname?" Retaw asked, a little bewildered. "Isn't that strange?"

"No, actually, it's pretty normal," Chris replied. "Like, people call each other by their surnames a lot. It's sort of a friendly thing, sometimes. Plus, Martin is a first name, too, so if someone doesn't know that's my last name, they'll think you're as normal as..." Chris trailed off, looking up ponderously for a few seconds. "I feel like there should be an end to that simile. Anyway! It'll be fine."

Retaw's smile returned, and he placed a friendly hand on Chris's shoulder and said, "Thank you, Martin."

"You're welcome, Retaw. Oh!" Chris exclaimed, eyes widening and fingers covering his mouth. "We're gonna have to give you a different name, I think."

Rather unlike the previous time, Retaw seemed to take this news kindly. "I'd like to be called Walter."

"Walter," Chris repeated, tapping his finger lightly on his chin. "I think that works nicely. Plus, it's almost your name backwards. If you took out the l..." Chris's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. His breath even ceased for a few moments, and Retaw began to wonder what was happening. Chris noticed the worried look on his face, though, and immediately shouted, "Your name is 'water' backwards!!"

"Water," Retaw quietly chewed it over. His eyes narrowed slightly, then he opened them back up and smiled brightly. "So it is! How wonderful."

Chris merely shook his head in disbelief. "This is wrinkling my brain."

"Maybe you should iron it," Retaw said, completely with a straight face. After a short while, though, he leaned forward and whispered, "That was a joke, Chr- er, Martin."

Chris stared at Retaw for a few moments, then laughed, though mostly out of his own stupidity. "Good one. Walter," he added, with a wink. Somewhere, a few rooms down, the opening of a door sounded. Momentarily, Jonny was striding down the hallway towards Chris and Retaw.

"Hey, how's it going in- Whoa." Jonny stopped and did a double-take. He gave Chris a small nod and said, "Nice work."

"Actually, it was all Retaw," Chris smiled. "Who, by the way, is now Walter."

"It's fitting, almost," Jonny said, glancing back at Retaw. "I'm sure you'll be a hit with the ladies."

"So, how was work?" Chris asked, casually changing the subject. Jonny shrugged to signify that it was nothing new, and Chris chuckled a little. It was one of the things Jonny did that still made Chris's heart flutter, even after two years.

"We had a meeting," Jonny mentioned. "I guess tomorrow we'll be introduced to our new supervisor."

"What happened to... whats-his-face?"

"He got fired or something. I don't really remember. Anyway, this new guy's a real tight-ass apparently. Not really looking forward to tomorrow."

"Maybe you could call in sick," Chris laughed.

"I don't think that would work," Jonny said, shaking his head. "They might make me meet with him one-on-one. I think that'd be worse."

"That's a good point." Chris looked around for a few moments, then asked, "Hey, um, what time is it?"

"It was almost five when I shut the car off," Jonny replied. "Work time, huh?"

"Yeah," Chris meagerly replied. "There's some, uh... leftovers in the fridge from the other night." Chris looked at Jonny with sad eyes and apologized, "Sorry, I didn't have time to make anything."

"It's fine," Jonny shrugged it off. He lifted his hand and grazed Chris's arm. "Don't work too hard, all right?"

"Don't worry, I wont," Chris smiled and gently kissed Jonny. "Take good care of Walter," he whispered, making sure to put a ridiculous emphasis on 'Walter'. Jonny silently nodded, they spouted their, 'I love you's , and Chris quickly left. Retaw was still standing in front of the bathroom mirror, admiring his new visage.

"Are you hungry at all?" Jonny asked. Retaw stopped his narcissism, and turned to Jonny.

"A bit, yes," he shyly replied. It seemed as though something was bothering him, but Jonny didn't think too much on it.

"Well, let's go in the kitchen and see what's in the fridge, then." Jonny started to walk, and Retaw soon followed. There wasn't much food left in the fridge at all. Jonny cautiously took out a container with a red top and examined its contents. They seemed to pass whatever test he was giving, so he threw it onto the counter and pulled a few plates out of the cabinet. "Is chicken parm all right?"

"Sure!" Retaw chirped, the smile on his face an obvious sign that he had no clue what chicken parm was. Jonny saw it, but he obliged Retaw's affirmative answer anyway. He turned his back and began to dish out the food, so he missed Retaw's change of expression from happy to uncertain.

"Jonathan?" he quietly asked.

"Yeah?" Jonny answered, not breaking his action whatsoever.

"You and M-Martin really love each other, don't you?" Jonny dropped the fork in his hand onto the plate in front of him and turned to face Retaw.

"Of course, why?" he asked, finally noticing Retaw's worried frown and frightened eyes.

"Do you think I will ever have something like that?" Retaw continued in his quiet voice.

Jonny walked over to him, placed both hands on Retaw's shoulders, and said, "Of course you will. There's someone for everyone in this world." Retaw halfheartedly smiled, though Jonny's words really did make him feel a little better. "Now, come on, it's time for you to learn all about the most crucial thing in any human's diet. Leftovers."

-

"OK, everyone, if you could gather around please," Jonny's boss announced. The office workers all stopped what they were doing and spun around in their chairs. A rather tall man with a shaved head and scary eyes was standing next to the boss. "I'd like to introduce to you your new supervisor, Mr. Champion," he said, clasping his hand around the new man's shoulder. He pushed Mr. Champion forward and muttered, "Go get 'em, Bill."

Mr. Champion shot him a look as he walked forward, obviously uncomfortable with being called Bill. He cleared his throat as he stopped in the middle of the gathering. "Hello, everyone. As previously mentioned, I'm your new supervisor. Really, I don't think there should be any problems- you all seem like hard workers, eh?" he chuckled, winking at one of the workers. "So, basically, just do your jobs and everything will be fine. 'K."

He flashed what Jonny thought was the most fake cheesy smile ever, and began to leave as the workers returned to their work. He stopped though, and turned around to Jonny.

"Um, Mr. Buckland, is it?" he asked. Jonny looked up from his desk to see the new supervisor peering over his shoulder.

"Yes, sir."

"Can I have a word with you?" he said, nodding in the direction of his office.

"Um, sure," Jonny replied, standing up and following Mr. Champion into the room. He had never been in the supervisor's office before, though it was nothing out of the ordinary. Still, he couldn't help looking around as he sat down in the seat in front of Mr. Champion's desk.

"Well, Mr. Buckland," Mr. Champion said, sitting in his own seat and opening a folder that had been laying on the wooden surface. "Mind if I call you Jonny?"

"Not at all, sir," Jonny replied. Mr. Champion smiled.

"Right, Jonny... it seems as though there have been some, uh, minor incidents involving yourself and... a former employee. Is that correct?" He put down the folder, placed his elbow on the desk, and rested his chin in his hand as he stared accusingly at Jonny.

"Yes," Jonny said, unashamed.

"You were aware that your relationship was against company policy?" Mr. Champion interrogated, not changing his gaze one bit.

"Yes." Mr. Champion let his hand fall on top of the desk and sat back in his chair.

"I can trust we wont have any more problems with you?" he said, the cheesy grin returning.

"Of course not, sir. I've been here for quite a while and that was the only time-"

"Jonny, it's OK. You seem like a very nice man, and I'm sure you're a very hard worker." He winked in a creepy sort of way that sent shivers down Jonny's spine. In fact, nearly everything about this man gave Jonny a bad feeling. "Keep it up, and there should be no reason for us to chat like this again. You may go back to your work, now."

"Right," Jonny muttered and he left the room as quickly as he could. As he headed back to his cubicle, the eerie feeling clung to his body, making him twitch with anxiousness. There was something about Mr. Champion that just didn't sit right. It was as if his niceness was all an act of sorts, an attempt to cover his true intentions. It didn't seem as though any of Jonny's coworkers felt that way, though, so after a short while he shrugged it off as him just being paranoid. Which was silly, really, as he actually was a hard worker, and had never done anything wrong with the one exception. He had absolutely nothing to worry about.

So, when he arrived home that night, he didn't tell Chris that he thought his new supervisor was terribly creepy. There was no need for it.

"He talked to you about us?" Chris asked after Jonny had told him about his day. The two men and Retaw were in the living room, eating the delicious meal of spaghetti that Chris had prepared.

"Yeah, he just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to break any more rules," Jonny said, twirling his fork in the noodles.

"How thoughtful of him," Chis sneered. "Did he act like a jerk about it?"

"No, he was pretty cool about it. He seems like a nice guy." Chris stopped eating and stared knowingly at Jonny. "What?"

"You don't think I can tell when you're lying? What did he say to you?"

Jonny sighed, "It's not really what he said, it was how he said it. I don't know, he just kinda creeps me out."

"Oh." Out of nowhere, a loud knock pounded through the room. Chris turned to the door, wide eyed and startled. "Who the hell could that be?"

"I don't know," Jonny shrugged. The knocking was very urgent, and whoever was behind it had the patience of a five-year-old.

Chris stood up and walked to the door, saying, "I'll get it." He pulled back the door to reveal the source of the knocking. In front of him was a fit man about half a foot shorter than Chris, with dark hair, dark eyes, and sunken cheeks.

"Hello, I'm your new neighbor," he said, quite pretentiously. He held his hand out to Chris.

"Nice to meet you," Chris said, shaking his hand. The dark-haired man's grip was firm and formal, and Chris almost wished that he hadn't answered the door.

"Likewise," he droned. He quickly pulled his hand back and pressed his open palm against his pant leg. "Now, I must request that you not be loud and obnoxious and please don't steal my mail." He spat out every word like it had some disgusting flavor. He nodded his head once, then muttered, "Good day," and left. Chris watched as the man hastened into the adjacent apartment, then he headed back to Jonny and Retaw.

"Who was it?" Jonny asked, casually eating his food.

"We have a new neighbor," Chris replied, taking his seat. "And he seems a little... crazy."

"Oh. Well, that's good." There was another knock on the door, and the repeated amount of persistence gave the originator away. Chris once more opened the door to find his suspicions were correct.

"Sorry to bother you again," the dark-haired man said with a mock smile. "Do you live alone, or are there other occupants in this..." He paused to search for a word he thought fitting, and settled on, "apartment?"

"There are other people, yes. Would you like to come in?" Chris politely asked, though the look of disgust on the other man's face was starting to annoy him.

"Fine," he scoffed, pushing his way through the door. He stopped only a few feet in and squared his shoulders in the most pompous manner possible.

"Hey, you two, come meet our new neighbor," Chris yelled across the room, gesturing to the dark-haired man. Jonny put down his food and tapped Retaw on the shoulder, then the pair made their way to the other two men.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the dark-haired man said, forcedly. He shook each of their hands, just as displeased as he was with Chris. He pulled down the hem of his shirt as said, "I must be going now."

The dark-haired man headed towards the door, but stopped as Jonny said, "Bye... neighbor guy." He turned around, a look of horror on his face.

"What did you say?" he scolded.

"I said bye," Jonny innocently replied. The other man's expression changed to anger.

"You said Guy."

"He said, 'bye, neighbor guy," Chris interrupted. The dark-haired man's eyes bulged, and Chris thought they might just fly out of his head.

"Are you spying on me or something?" he shrieked, storming out the door and slamming it behind him. Moments later, another door slammed, and Chris concluded that the dark-haired man had returned to his apartment.

"Oh my God, he's psycho," Jonny gaped. "Do we really want him as a neighbor?"

"No," Chris answered, "but there's not really anything we can do about it."

Jonny stared at the ground, preoccupied by something. "Do you think it's odd that the two new people I've met today are... well, strange?"

"Maybe it's a sign," Chris gasped. "Maybe... no, I don't know. It is a little odd."

"Perhaps this is the beginning of an adventure," Retaw suggested.

"Certainly a strange beginning," Jonny said. Chris lifted his arm and placed his hand on Jonny's shoulder.

"Well then, my love," he said, "it will be a strange adventure."

-

The minutes slowly ticked by as Chris stocked shelves. Lift up a box. Put it on the shelf. Lift up a can. Put it on the shelf. Lift up a bottle. Put it on the shelf. Every single one was another piece of his soul gone.

And nearly every night for two years, this is what he did. It was all dreadfully dull, but by now so much of his soul was gone that he had become numb to it. He was a mindless zombie, replacing empty spaces day after day so that people could get their precious macaroni and cheese. They didn't care about the hard work Chris put into it. But Chris didn't care about them, either. He just picked up another box.

This particular box contained white cheddar macaroni and cheese, with noodles shaped like dinosaurs. It didn't make the job any better. Chris put it on the shelf with its brothers, and out of the corner of his eye he saw a tall man walk towards him. Being a mindless zombie, he paid it no attention and simply continued his work.

The figure stopped a foot away from Chris and stayed there. Chris kept going while the figure bore holes in him with its eyes.

"You're very good at this," Retaw said. Chris stopped, hand half-way to placing a can of raviolis on the shelf, and looked up.

"What are doing here?" Chris said in a hushed tone.

"Watching you work," Retaw innocently replied. "You're very good at this!"

"Yeah, well, there's not much to it." Chris dropped his hand and looked around to see if anyone else was around them. He pulled Retaw closer to the shelf, as though it would hide him if there were other people. "Why are you here? Where's Jonny?"

"He is at your apartment." Chris sighed and practically threw the raviolis onto the shelf.

"Why aren't you there with him?" he asked in a stern voice.

"He fell asleep." Chris narrowed his eyes, and Retaw looked at him rather apologetically. "Listen, Chris Martin, I know you love him, but Jonathan is so boring! He doesn't let me watch TV, and he doesn't talk to me, or anything. He just falls asleep!"

"Re- uh, Walter, he wakes up at six every morning, and it's, like, eleven o'clock now. Of course he's asleep!" Chris exclaimed. He looked around the area once more. At least Retaw looked like a human now, and not a tiny purple alien. Still, Retaw wasn't exactly close to being ready to go out and interact with other humans. It was late at night, so there were not many people out and about, but there was still a risk of him running into someone. "Can I trust you to get back to the apartment safely?"

Retaw beamed and nodded. "Of course, Ch-" Retaw stopped, sighed, and said, "I'll get this eventually. You can trust me, Martin, I will be absolutely safe."

"Please go to the apartment, stay there," Chris began slowly, then quickly rattled off, "and tell Jonny not to fall asleep on that couch, it's bad for his back."

Retaw looked contemplatively at Chris for a moment, then nodded his head. "Affirmative! Bye, Martin!" he chirped as he stalked off down the aisle.

"Bye Retaw," Chris muttered in a near-laugh as he turned back to his work.

Retaw managed to stay true to his word, and entered the apartment about ten minutes after he left the store. Jonny was still sleeping on the couch, and Retaw thought about jabbing him sharply in the side to wake him up, but then he remembered that Jonny and Chris were doing him a huge favor, and it would be considered rude to wake him up in such a manner. Instead, he gently pushed Jonny's shoulder.

"Retaw?" Jonny asked sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Um... Eleven?" Retaw shrugged. "Chris Martin wanted me to tell you not to sleep on the couch, because it is not good for your back."

Jonny laughed in his half-awake state and said, "Chris is always looking out for me, eh? Even when he's not he-" Suddenly, Jonny was wide awake, sat upright, staring big-eyed at Retaw. "When did Chris tell you this?"

"When I went to go see him," Retaw mumbled. Jonny turned onto his knees, hands gripped firmly on the back of the couch.

"You went to see Chris? You left the apartment?" Jonny shrieked. Retaw cowered back a little, eyes big and slightly frightened, and spurted an apology.

"I'm sorry, Jonathan, but I was bored and there was nothing to do! You were asleep, and I just thought I'd visit Chris Martin. I promise it wont happen again, I've learned my lesson."

Jonny took one look at Retaw and realised that he couldn't freak out completely. Retaw was still in training to be a human, and honestly, Jonny was most certainly a boring person. He was willing to admit that. "OK," he calmly replied, relaxing his grip on the couch. "But you better not do that again."

"I wont." A knock on the door broke up the moment, and Jonny scrambled off the couch and over to the door.

The dark-haired man stared viciously at Jonny. "You're making too much noise," he spat. "Some of us are trying to sleep. Have you no decency?"

Jonny stared back at him, unintimidated, when he noticed what the dark-haired man was wearing. "Whoa, whoa," he said, holding up his hand. "You stomp up to my door in the middle of the night, in your underwear, and you have the nerve to ask if I have any decency?"

The dark-haired man self-consciously looked down at his half-naked body. He started huffing, then looked up at Jonny. "I am wearing clothes, you know! It's not my fault you woke me up." He screamed, and bolted to his apartment, but he stopped halfway and turned back. Luckily, Jonny was too dumbfounded to have moved at all. "Please, keep it down," the dark-haired man said through clenched teeth. He turned around again, and this time he made the complete journey back to his apartment.

Jonny shut the door and walked back to Retaw, still shocked at what had just happened. "Retaw, he's psycho." Jonny began to laugh, though it was rather nervously. "Completely psycho!"

"He does seem a bit strange," Retaw agreed. Jonny nodded, then placed his hand on Retaw's shoulder.

"Come on, man, I think it's time for bed," he said, leading Retaw to his own bedroom, which had once been a sort of storage room. He and Chris hadn't done much to it, though, just threw down a couple of blankets and pillows, but Retaw was more than pleased with the minor renovation.

"Jonathan," Retaw whispered as Jonny was about to leave the room. "I'm very sorry for leaving. And I'm sorry that I thought you were boring."

"Don't be, I am boring," Jonny reassured him. "I'm certainly not as fun as Chris, anyway."

"Chris is not always fun," Retaw said. "He didn't like that I visited him, either."

Jonny stared at the dark space where Retaw was laying. After a few moments he sighed, "I'm sorry, Retaw, for freaking out earlier. You're still new at all this, and-"

"Jonathan, you should not be apologizing to me!" Retaw exclaimed. "There is nothing for you to apologize about, I deserved it. I was foolish and simply acting on impulse. If I had thought my idea out for a long time, I would have realised just how foolish it was."

"I guess I shouldn't have fallen asleep like that, too, huh?" Jonny laughed. "Listen, this whole thing... water under the bridge, right?"

"I don't know what that means."

"It means we forget about this whole thing, OK?" Jonny said. "It's no one's fault, and it's all in the past now, so it doesn't matter."

Everything was silent for a few moments, but then Retaw smiled and said, "Jonathan, you are all right!"

Jonny laughed, said, "Retaw, you're all right, too. 'Night," and left. Retaw shouted a farewell also, and rested his head comfortably on the pillow beneath him. Although he had acted like a complete fool, Retaw was glad that Jonny wasn't holding it against him. The whole night had been a nice learning experience for him, which he was very grateful for. And soon enough, he believed, he would have enough knowledge to finally be a human.

-

 

"What is all this, Chris Martin?" Retaw asked as he walked into the living room one morning. Chris was sitting in the middle of the room, completely surrounded by boxes.

"Clothes," Chris replied. "You need them."

Retaw looked down. He'd been wearing Jonny's old clothes for the past few weeks, and they didn't fit him nearly as well as they should have. The dirty sleeves of the shirts slid past the tips of his fingers, even though they were slightly bunched at the elbow, and the worn and faded denim jeans were actually too short for his abnormally long legs.

"I suppose I do," he said, trying to make his way over to Chris. "These will fit me properly?"

"They better," Chris answered, tearing one of the boxes open, nearly ripping the side of it off. "I spent all morning bringing these boxes inside. Had them shipped from, well...my brother." He looked up at Retaw, who was still gazing in amazement at the amount of boxes. "They're still old clothes, but you're built just like him, so they shouldn't be a problem."

"How many clothes does your brother own?" Retaw asked.

"Too many," Chris chuckled. "The guy's a clothes fiend. I think he buys a new outfit every day."

"That is a lot of outfits," Retaw mumbled, squatting down beside Chris and helping him open the boxes.

"It is, but it's good for us. Half of these don't even look like they've been worn," Chris mused as he searched through the nearest open box. It was filled with flannel shirts and dark jeans. He grabbed the first outfit he could find and tossed it to Retaw. "Here, try these on."

Retaw caught the articles of clothing with little grace, but as soon as he had a firm hold on them he stood up and left for the bathroom. When he came back, he strutted into the room, which made Chris laugh a little.

"How do I look?" Retaw asked, stopping in front of Chris and spinning like a model.

"Fabulous," Chris answered in a laugh. Retaw held out his arms and observed them both, making sure that the sleeves were just the right length. After they received his seal of approval, he moved on to admire his legs. Overall, he was very pleased with his new outfit. He looked back at Chris and smiled widely.

"Fabulous," he repeated. Chris laughed again and shook his head.

"I guess you're a hick now," he said. Retaw tilted his head to the side and squished his eyebrows together.

"What's a hick?" he plainly asked.

"Oh. Well, like...a redneck, or..." Chris noticed that his answer seemed to have no effect of Retaw, so he gave up. "It doesn't matter. Anyway, you better get over here, 'cause you've got to try on all of these," he said, gesturing around the box-filled room.

"All of these?" Retaw whimpered. There had to have been at least fifteen boxes, and judging by the amount of clothes in the first box, they would surely be at it for hours.

"Yeah, well, there are ways I'd much rather spend my day, too, but you're the one who wants to be human!" Chris said, standing up, placing his hand on his hips, and measuring the amount of work they'd have to do.

Meanwhile, Jonny was sitting at his desk in the office, reading over some very important e-mails he'd received. He'd already read them a million times, though, and so his progress was slim to none. He just wasn't feeling it today. And it seemed that if he read one part of an e-mail enough times for it to make sense, then the rest of it would become a jumbled mess, so he would have to re-read the whole thing. He just couldn't concentrate.

The e-mail he was currently stuck on was one from a paper company somewhere in America. Pennsylvania, actually. Jonny wasn't really sure why he was sent this message, mostly because he couldn't understand what the hell it was saying.

He decided to give up on reading, minimizing the window and opening up a game of solitaire. It wasn't unusual for him to do such a thing; most days his productivity amounted to actually finishing one game. And he had done this for years, somehow managing to get enough work done to keep his boss happy and to keep his paycheck coming.

Today wasn't one of those days. Not even two cards into the deck, Jonny heard a discreet cough from behind him. He paid it no attention until the cough grew louder, almost to the point of being a shout. He quickly spun around in his chair to find Mr. Champion's evil eyes glaring at him. He didn't say anything, just kept staring at Jonny.

"Mr. Champion!" Jonny exclaimed in hope that he wouldn't be reprimanded. "How are you doing on this fine day, sir?"

"Jonny, do you have work to do?" Mr. Champion asked in a startlingly calm voice.

"Uh, well, I just read over a few e-mails and sent out some replies... just waiting to hear back from them," Jonny said in what he thought was his most convincing voice. In the two nerve-wracking seconds following, Mr. Champion stared menacingly at Jonny, and Jonny stared back with absolute fear in his eyes.

"OK," Mr. Champion finally said, once again calmly. He stuck around for about three more seconds, and then left without making any noise. Jonny was unsure of how to take this, but he figured that all was good for now, so he foolishly returned to his solitaire game.

-

"OK, am I the only one creeped out by that neighbor guy?" Chris asked as he walked into the apartment. He had just run out to pick up a pizza, which was steaming from the box he held in his hand.

"No, that guy is freaking insane," Jonny said with wide eyes, looking over the back of the couch. "The other day I swear I saw him watching me outside his window when I was getting into the car."

"That's what happened just now!" Chris exclaimed, walking into the kitchen and placing the pizza box on the table. He took off his jacket and threw it onto one of the chairs. "I was coming up the stairs outside and I saw him peeking through the curtains."

"Should we talk to him about it or something?" Jonny got up and stood beside Chris. "I mean, I'd kinda like for him to stop."

"Yeah, but, I don't know... Honestly, I'm afraid of what he might do." Chris turned around. There was a loud knock on the door, and both he and Jonny knew who it was. "Does he have supersonic hearing, too?" Chris freaked as he walked to the door.

"The walls are paper thin," the dark-haired man said to Chris. "Seriously. If I had a pencil, I could just stab the wall, and it would go right through." The man's emphasis on the word 'stab' frightened Chris, who eagerly began to apologize.

"Chris, there's nothing to be sorry about," Jonny said as he moved Chris out of the way. Then, to the dark-haired man he said, "Listen, you're really creepy. Could you stop that?"

"Excuse me?" the dark-haired man shrieked. "I'm creepy? You two are doing God knows what in here and I'm creepy because the walls are paper thin?"

"No, you're creepy because your watching us from your window!" Jonny shouted. The dark-haired man bulged his eyes and began huffing. He looked behind Jonny at where Retaw was sitting.

"Who is that?" he asked, pointing to Retaw. Jonny quickly looked back.

"That's Walter."

"Walter," the man repeated, narrowing his eyes. "Who names their kid Walter?"

"Really?" Jonny sneered. "I'm sure lots of people name their kids Walter. What's your name, anyway? It can't be much better."

The dark-haired man's eyes widened once more. "For your information, I don't have a name!" he yelled. "I was never given one." Jonny stared at him unblinkingly for a few seconds.

"That is the worst lie I have ever heard," he said.

"Why don't you believe me?" The man's tone had gone from angry to near tears in a surprisingly short amount of time. "I don't have a name, I swear."

"His name is Guy," Retaw said from his seat far away from the other men. "I saw it on the letterbox."

Jonny and Chris both looked back at Retaw, and while they were doing so the dark-haired man took the opportunity to leave. Actually, he ran back to his apartment, but he wasn't nearly fast enough, and as he turned around Jonny saw him sprinting. Acting on what was perhaps a rather bad decision, Jonny followed the dark-haired man.

"I'm not answering the door!" he shouted after Jonny had knocked.

"Guy, please!" Jonny yelled, one hand on the doorknob, fully prepared to just walk in if he had to.

The door cracked open a tiny bit, enough for half of the dark-haired man's face to peek through. "No," he said.

"What is wrong with you?" Jonny asked. "Why are you so weird?"

"I'm not weird!" he shrieked, and slammed the door. Jonny sighed and gave up. When he returned to his own apartment, Chris and Retaw were sitting at the kitchen table, eating the pizza and chatting.

"No, Retaw," Chris said, "that's not something I really want to talk about. Especially not while we're eating."

Retaw set down his slice of pizza on the plate in front of him and frowned. "But, Chris Martin, how am I supposed to be a human if I don't know how-"

"Google it or something!" Chris interrupted. Just then, he looked up to find that Jonny had returned. "Jonny, what happened?"

"Nothing happened. He's just crazy," Jonny replied, collapsing into the nearest chair. "Seriously, the guy needs to be put on medication or something."

"What if he's already on medication?" Chris worriedly asked. Jonny thought about it for a few moments, then made a face that said 'Oh God, I hope not'.

Retaw was silently watching the two make horrified faces at each other, all the while slowly nibbling at his dinner. After a bit of time, he asked, "What's Google?"

Chris broke his gaze on Jonny and looked at Retaw. "It's a... search engine," he replied.

"Search engine?" Retaw repeated.

"Like, on the internet," Jonny added. Retaw's eyes lit up and he raised his eyebrows in understanding.

"Oh! The internet. I see!" he smiled. "So, I if I go to this Google place, I can learn how-"

"Yes, you can. Now, will you please stop bringing that up?" Chris begged, raising his arms and stretching his hands in front of him.

"All right," Retaw quietly answered. Jonny looked questioningly between the two of them.

"Bringing what up?" he asked.

"Nothing, dear, don't worry," Chris said with a fake smile. He reached over to Jonny and patted his hand. "Retaw's just a little... curious... about... things."

"OK," Jonny shrugged after a few moments of silence. "So, Retaw, are you almost human now?"

"I'm not sure," Retaw politely replied. "Chris Martin might know the answer better than I."

"He's getting there. Not much longer, I think," Chris answered. "In fact, it might only be a few days before you're completely ready."

Retaw beamed at Chris. For the past year, all he had wanted was to come to Earth and be a human with Chris and Jonny. It had taken him most of that time just to travel from his home planet, and it had been quite difficult for him to leave his fellow aliens. But, deep in his heart, he knew that this was where he belonged.

-

A few days later, Jonny was busying himself with actual work for once. The e-mails he'd received from the paper company in Pennsylvania turned out to be a great business opportunity, which he finally realized after rereading them about a hundred times.

The plan was for Jonny's company, which dealt with website design, to create a series of new layouts for the other company's homepage. Primarily, Jonny would be doing this, as he was the head designer and the one who the e-mails were sent to.

He was hard at work when Mr. Champion walked by to monitor his progress. Jonny had noticed that this was something Mr. Champion did quite often, though he never really seemed to pay anyone else much attention.

"Working hard, I see," Mr. Champion said. Jonny continued his work, not bothering to look up.

"Yes, sir," he simply replied. Mr. Champion watched him silently for a few minutes before speaking again.

"Jonny, I hate to bother you, since you seem to be doing a fine job and all, but I need to speak with you in my office." His tone carried hints of sarcasm and displeasure. Jonny stopped focusing on the computer and turned around.

"What for?" he asked.

"You'll see once we begin talking," Mr. Champion vaguely replied. He immediately walked to his office, expecting Jonny to follow him. Jonny did, of course, as he had assumed that it was expected of him.

As he sat down in the chair opposite Mr. Champion, Jonny had the strange feeling of an interrogation light shining on him. The blinds on the window were pulled up, and the sunlight hit the back of Mr. Champion's head, leaving the front of his face in darkness.

"How are you doing today, Jonny?" Mr. Champion asked, building the already heightened tension in the room. "Everything going good?"

"Fine, thanks," Jonny uneasily replied. He nervously began tapping his fingers on his thigh.

"I assume you're wondering why I asked you here," Mr. Champion dumbly said.

"Yep." Mr. Champion smiled, rather evilly, Jonny thought, and clasped his hands on the desk. He leaned forward, and the blocked sunlight spilled onto the desk and onto Jonny, but Mr. Champion was still left in darkness as he began to talk.

-

It was nearly five o'clock, and Chris knew that Jonny would be home shortly. So, he forced himself to stop lazing around watching TV with Retaw and walked into the kitchen to make dinner. He was never really a great cook, and he never felt like taking the time to try to be even a somewhat OK cook. Most of his meals were either quick microwavable dishes or spaghetti. Since they'd had the rest of the frozen dinners the previous night, Chris decided it was time for spaghetti.

He grabbed all the things he needed- sauce, noodles, a pot- and began to boil water on the stove. "One of these days I should really learn to cook," he said to himself. "Jonny deserves so much better than this."

For the next ten minutes, Chris ignored the cliché and watched the water boil. Slowly but surely, tiny bubbles began to form on the aqua surface. Suddenly, a pair of arms was wrapped around Chris's abdomen, and someone was resting their chin on his shoulder.

"Hi, Jonny," Chris said, beaming, but keeping his gaze on the boiling water in front of him.

"How do you know it's me?" Jonny replied. "I could have been a serial killer or something."

Chris picked up a spoon with one hand and a box of noodles with the other. He carefully poured half of the box's contents into the pot as he said, "I'm psychic."

"Oh, right, I forgot," Jonny laughed, still firmly holding on to Chris. "How was your day?"

"It was all right. Retaw's got this human thing down for the most part. He just needs a little more improvement on his English, I think, but he's basically set. He's out in the living room now, watching iCarly again. Ah, it was the funniest thing. What's the brother's name?"

"Spencer," Jonny answered.

"Spencer, right. Retaw seems to think he's God or something. It's just hilarious. Anyway, we could probably send him out into the real world now, if we wanted to." Chris stirred the noodle-filled water and placed his free hand on top of Jonny's. "So, how about you? What was your day like?"

Jonny didn't answer right away, instead he sighed and repositioned his chin a bit. "I, uh... got fired."

"What?" Chris dropped the spoon he was holding and spun around to the best of his ability. Jonny kept his hands on Chris's waist, and Chris threw his arms around Jonny as he said, "What happened?"

"New supervisor just doesn't like me, I guess. It's not like I've been doing anything differently than I have been for the past five years." Jonny paused, thinking of a way to bring up the thing that had been bugging him since he had received the news. "Um, Chris... I... well, you know, I made a lot of money working there, and now-"

"No, Jonny, don't worry about that," Chris said. "Money's not a problem."

"Are you sure?" Jonny pressed on. "Because I know we don't have a lot to begin with, and your job doesn't pay much."

"Jonny, babe, it's fine," Chris reassured him, holding Jonny's head between his hands and comforting him with his eyes. "Everything will work out."

Jonny's face showed severe doubt, but he accepted Chris's statement anyway. He slowly nodded his head, and Chris smiled at him. "Everything will work out," Jonny quietly repeated.

"Exactly, now go talk to Retaw or something, dinner's almost ready." Jonny quickly peered around Chris to see what was on the stove-top.

"Spaghetti?" he plainly asked. Chris frowned at him.

"Sorry."

Jonny looked back at Chris. "You apologize too much, you know that?" he said, swiftly brushing away the stray curl that had fallen on Chris's forehead. "Spaghetti is my favorite."

"You told me your favorite was that frozen chicken crap," Chris said, wrinkling his nose. "But thank you for trying to make me feel better."

"Well, maybe I have two favorites." Chris raised one eyebrow and stifled a laugh. "Fine," Jonny confessed, "I don't. Did it work, though?"

"Did what work?"

"Me trying to make you feel better," Jonny replied.

"Of course," Chris smiled, his big blue eyes twinkling. "You always make me feel better. Do you feel better? About your job?"

"Yeah," Jonny sincerely said. "Thank you, Chris, I don't know what I'd do without you."

-

Retaw nervously clung to Chris's side, scanning the massive group of people before him. He was decked out in his best outfit- a tight black shirt, a pair of the faded jeans from Chris's brother, and to top it all off, a pair of the darkest sunglasses in the world. It was almost like he was walking around with his eyes closed. Chris told him they'd make him look stylish and cool, though, so he happily wore them.

He was extremely on edge. This would be the first human contact he would have as a human. And by himself. Chris constantly reassured him that he would be not too far away the entire time, but Retaw was still horrified of not fitting in properly.

"Why are there so many people here?" Retaw asked. Chris turned and gave him the 'you're dumb' look.

"It's the mall. This is where people come to shop. Everyone comes here to shop, and, actually, some people come to just hang out," Chris replied.

"Oh." Retaw shifted a little, observing the crowd. There were plenty of families bustling around, it seemed, perhaps because it was a boring Sunday afternoon. There were also several large groups of teenage girls, all giggling and dressed like sluts in hopes of attracting the ugly teenage boys who leaned against the walls, looking ridiculously uncool, but believing otherwise.

Retaw couldn't understand what the appeal was of these young men, but the girls seemed to be going out of their way to get noticed by them. Then again, he also couldn't see the appeal of the girls, with their faces buried under twenty pounds of make-up, and their clothes about eight times too small.

There was one girl he noticed. She was far from a teenager, though, probably around forty. She had pin-straight, dark brown hair, which she was using to hide her face from the world. Her head was tilted down, and her hands were messing with the hem of her lavender blouse in an almost standoffish sort of way.

"Retaw," Chris said, waving a hand in front of Retaw's eyes after he'd noticed the alien staring oddly at the woman. "Re-e-e-taw!"

"What do you want, Martin?" Retaw immediately snapped, a bit too harshly. Then, lowering his voice, he added, "And my name is Walter now. No more Retaw. Ever."

"OK, sorry, Walter." Chris held out his hands in defeat, and Retaw returned his gaze to the woman. She was leaving now, though, and as she stood up her long, black skirt flowed with every little movement she made. Her exit appeared to be in the direction that Chris and Retaw were standing, and her path was almost straight at them. This really should have worried the already anxious Retaw, but somehow he felt calmer than before.

As she walked on, Retaw noticed something. Once she was in earshot of them, he turned to her and said, "Excuse me, ma'am?" Chris watched in surprise as Retaw talked to the woman, relaxed and confident and not at all like he was just moments earlier. The woman looked back to where she had come from, her dark hair still covering her face.

"Oh. Thank you," she said in a silky voice. She began to make her way back to retrieve a medium-sized paper bag she had left behind. When she disappeared again, she went in a completely different direction than before.

"What was up with that?" Chris asked Retaw with a sneaky grin. "You were totally flipping out a minute ago, then you talk to this woman like it's nothing?"

"That was very strange," Retaw quietly replied. His mind was clouded by a foggy swirl of thoughts, none of which were clear at all. Something about the woman had set him at ease, something that he couldn't quite pinpoint. Had it been her anti-social behavior that perhaps he sympathized with? Nothing else seemed to fit, really.

Chris patiently waited for Retaw to stop spacing out, which took a while. When he finally did, Chris said to him, "Listen, Walter, we can go home now if you want. I think you did pretty well today."

"No," Retaw decisively answered. "If we stop now, I won't be able to get over this horrible nervousness." He held his hand out to Chris and demanded, "Give me some money."

"Excuse you?" Looking at Retaw in total bewilderment, having never seen him be so upfront before, Chris reluctantly pulled his wallet from his back pocket. He took out a fiver, slapped it into Retaw's open palm, and said, "Don't spend it all in one place, kid."

Retaw nodded, though he didn't quite understand what Chris meant. He scanned the area swiftly, determining where his destination should be. He spotted a shop that seemed to be not too overpopulated, but with just enough people that he was bound to have loads of interaction with other humans. After giving a quick wave to Chris, he set off for the store.

There were only about ten other people in the store, but they managed to take up about half of the space. A woman and her two sons, a teenage girl, three teenage boys, a young man and his wife, and an older man were spread out between the merchandise. The older man was closest to the door, and the first one that Retaw saw as he walked in. The man paid him no attention, though, too distracted by the almost impossible task of choosing between a red tie with white stripes and a white tie with red stripes. Retaw walked on past him, and past the group of teenagers. He thought he heard the girl snicker as he strutted by, but he brushed it off and continued on to the back display, where a mannequin was modeling off a big, puffy, blue jacket. It was rather ugly, he thought.

"Excuse me," he heard a woman's voice say. He turned to see the woman with her sons, presumably wishing to pass through the space that Retaw was occupying. He gave her a friendly smile and moved out of the way. All in all, his human interaction up to that point had gone rather well. He almost wished Chris was there to see how well he was doing, until he remembered that Chris kinda held him back. Not that he did it intentionally, Retaw was just so used to being an alien around Chris that he felt as if he failed at being human. When he was by himself, Retaw had this odd sort of confidence. It wasn't the same as when he talked to the mysterious dark-haired woman, though. He wasn't even sure what to call the way he felt around her.

Retaw soon grew bored of the store with its ten people, but thought it rude to leave without purchasing anything. So, he grabbed the cheapest thing he could find and brought it to the register. The cashier was a snooty middle-aged man, who sneered at Retaw's bald head and strange fashion sense. Retaw could tell that he was being judged, which made him feel uneasy and a bit paranoid. He didn't seem to pass whatever test the cashier was conducting, but he left the store without any real trouble.

"How did it go?" Chris asked when they met up. He was carrying a small bag, something he must have bought while Retaw gone.

"It was good," Retaw shrugged. "I didn't really talk to anyone."

"Ah, that's normal," Chris reassured him. "Strangers don't really strike up conversations with each other around here, people pretty much keep to themselves."

"What's that?" Retaw pointed to the bag. Chris looked down at the bag and held it closer to himself.

"Oh, that... it's nothing," he said. He quickly tried to distract Retaw's attention by suggesting they leave. It really wasn't hard to do, though, because Retaw's attention was already diverted to the memory of the encounter with the mysterious woman. Although he hadn't actually seen it, he felt like he already knew her face and, with that, knew her beauty.

Maybe it was her mysteriousness that drew him in and attracted his mind to thoughts of her. Or maybe it was the way her flowing skirt and long hair reminded him of the days when he had once known love. Back home, where he had loved the most beautiful alien girl of all, and she had loved him, too. When she suddenly disappeared, he was heartbroken. He never really got over it, but his friendship with Chris and Jonny had certainly helped him to cope.

As they were walking back to the car, Retaw glimpsed at Chris and smiled. He knew that there was something going on with Chris and Jonny, something that they weren't telling Retaw. It wasn't his business, though, he thought, but he just hoped that things were going well for them. They deserved only the best, after all.

-

"Did everything go all right?" Jonny asked when Chris and Retaw arrived home. Chris threw his car keys onto the small table by the door and began to walk towards Jonny.

"Yeah, it went really well, it seems," Chris replied. He was still holding on to the small bag, which he held out to Jonny. With a tiny smile, he said, "I got this for you."

"What?" Jonny raised his one eyebrow as he took the bag. He carefully opened it and pulled out the item that was inside. "Chris, oh my God."

"Does that mean you like it?" Chris looked with hopeful eyes at Jonny, who was absolutely speechless. In his hand was the most gorgeous looking watch that he'd ever seen. It was silver, and its face was tinted a light blue. Since he wasn't saying anything, Chris decided to continue, "I saw it, and I thought you'd like it. I wanted to... well, the other day you said you felt better, but I didn't really believe you, so I thought maybe if I got you this, it would help... I don't know, maybe I was wrong, but-"

"Chris," Jonny stopped him, "Thank you." He wrapped his arms around Chris, his hands on Chris's back tightly pressing them together. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Chris smiled against Jonny's shoulder and returned his embrace.

"But I don't want the watch." Jonny pulled away and held the watch out to Chris. Chris looked at him with a broken expression as he said, "Please, take it back."

"Why, you don't like it?"

Jonny shook his head, "No, I love it, and it was amazing of you to do that for me, but it looks really expensive. And, Chris, I know we can't afford it." He still held his hand out, but Chris ignored it.

"If you like it, then you should keep it." Chris refused to break eye contact with Jonny, and refused to take the watch, but Jonny was just as stubborn as he was.

"Give me the receipt," Jonny demanded, lowering his one hand and opening the other."If you won't take it back, I will." Chris still just looked at him, beginning to wince. "Listen, you got it for me to make me feel better, right? Just the fact that you did that makes me feel better, OK? So, I don't need this fancy watch, and you can take it back."

The pair were silent for a few moments, before Chris finally gave in and took the watch from Jonny. "OK," he sadly muttered.

"Are you angry with me?"

"No, of course not," Chris quietly replied, slightly shaking his head. Jonny took a hard look at him and narrowed his eyes.

"But you're disappointed," he said. Chris looked up at him and shrugged.

"I wanted you to have something nice."

Jonny tilted his head in a sympathetic manner, then ruffled Chris's hair and said, "I already do."

Chris rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. "You just wait 'til the day when being cheesy doesn't work. It'll happen," he threatened, pointing his index finger at Jonny. "Eventually we'll just be an old married couple who don't like each other."

"Ugh, I hope not," Jonny said, making a distasteful face.

"Oh, Jonny." Chris placed his hand on Jonny's cheek and leaned in close. "You can hope all you want, it'll still happen." Jonny laughed, but soon he noticed that Chris's eyes were wide and his expression was quite alert.

"What?"

"There hasn't always been a creepy short guy on our fire escape, right?" Chris answered. Jonny spun around to see what Chris was talking about, and found that Guy was peering into the room through their window. He realised he'd been caught and tried to stealthily leave, but it was in no way convincing.

"What the fuck?!" Jonny turned back to Chris and sighed. "We have to do something about this."

Chris nervously looked around for a moment. "What are we gonna do?"

"I... I don't know, but, seriously, something's wrong with him," Jonny replied, and Chris nodded.

"He scares me quite a lot," he quietly said.

"I could talk to him for you," Retaw suddenly spoke up.

Chris turned to him and lowered his eyebrows. "Really? Why would you do that?"

"I haven't talked to him yet... It might be good experience for me, and maybe I can convince him to stop being so creepy."

"It's your funeral," Chris snorted, turning back around.

"What?" Retaw genuinely asked.

Chris gave a small laugh and clarified, "You can go talk to him if you want, but just be careful. You never know what he's capable of."

Retaw thought this over, then nodded. "You don't have to worry about me, Martin, I think I can handle this," he smiled. He comically puffed up his chest and confidently walked out of the apartment as Chris and Jonny watched him, both holding in their laughter.

When Retaw finally left, they released bursts of laughter, and Chris said, "Oh, they grow up so fast."

As confident as he was, Retaw was not nearly as successful at first as he thought he might be. He knocked on Guy's door, but there was absolutely no answer. However, the door had been cracked open, so when he knocked it flew back the rest of the way. Retaw had half-expected Guy to be sitting in the middle of the front room, but he saw no such thing. Instead, there was a rather large box sitting in the middle of his living room, which Retaw estimated to be the size of a refrigerator. The box was turned so that one side of it was completely exposed to the open door, and a small portion of the side next to it was showing. Retaw could have sworn that he saw urgent-looking letters on the side, but before he could examine it further, Guy swooped in front of him.

"Can I help you?" he asked in a freakishly high-pitched voice. His eyes were wide and kinda bloodshot, and his hair was ruffled. Retaw could see exactly why Chris was afraid of him, but he bravely remained in his spot.

"Hello, Guy. I don't know if you remember, but I'm Walter-"

"I know who you are," Guy spat. "You're that bald guy who lives next door."

"Yes, I live with Chris and Jonny. They're very nice people, you know, since they're letting me stay there."

Guy narrowed his eyes at Retaw and in a low voice kept repeating, "Chris and Jonny."

"Yes, Chris and Jonny," Retaw replied. He smiled at Guy, which seemed to freak out the dark-haired man. "Don't you think they're nice?"

"No, they steal my mail!" Guy shrieked. Retaw was a bit taken aback by this, and so for a few moments he remained silent.

"I-I don't think they do. Are you certain?"

"I've seen them," Guy whispered, suspiciously looking around. "They think I don't know, but I know." Guy leaned closer to Retaw and began to laugh. "I know."

"Oh," Retaw replied, at a loss for words. "Uh... I can talk to them about it, if you like. I'll tell them to stop."

Guy's face lit up, and he brightly said, "Would you? That would be... awesome!" He smiled at Retaw, then without warning hugged him. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Retaw said, lightly patting Guy's back. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure! What do you want to ask me?"

"What's that box?" Guy stopped hugging Retaw, and as he pulled back his face went blank.

"It's nothing," he muttered. Retaw thought he might start to flip out, but he remained surprisingly calm. "Um, I have to go now," he said, and he sounded as though he was almost in tears. "Bye."

He slowly backed up and closed the door, leaving Retaw rather stunned. It was what he figured would be the weirdest conversation he would ever have with anyone, and as he walked back to Chris and Jonny's apartment, he began to wonder whether or not he should even tell that what had happened. He thought he should especially not mention the box, because as crazy as it sounded, that box looked way too familiar.

-

Chris gasped. It was sudden, loud, and it almost made Jonny spill orange juice down the front of his shirt.

"What?" Jonny asked after he managed to not choke to death.

"Do you realise what tomorrow is?" Chris leaned over the table and raised his eyebrows. "Do you?"

Jonny stared questioningly at him for a few moments, before it hit him. He gasped almost as loudly as Chris had. "Oh my God!"

"I know, right? Time flies by so quickly." Chris sat back and stared into space for a few moments, then stood up and carried his empty plate to the sink.

"I'm so glad you didn't remember, either," Jonny said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"That is a good thing..." Chris dropped the plate into the sink, turned around, and added, "Actually, if neither of us could remember, that's probably bad."

"Nah, we've only been married for year, it's not that important," Jonny sarcastically replied. "How could we forget that?"

Chris replied, "There have been more important things going on, I suppose."

"Right, like making sure we have food to put on the table," Jonny quietly said. Chris silently nodded and sat back down. Jonny looked up at him with sad brilliantly green eyes. "I guess we can't really do much to celebrate, huh?"

"I wouldn't say that, Jonny," Chris sneakily laughed and winked. "And don't be so hard on yourself, you'll find another job soon enough."

"How are you so peppy all the time?" Jonny asked, resting his elbow on the table and using his arm to prop up his chin. Chris tilted his head back and thought for a while.

"That's a good question. Um... I don't know, one of us has to be." Chris quickly shrugged, and proceeded to take a drink from the glass of juice that Jonny nearly killed himself with.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it." Jonny sat for a few moments, staring at Chris. He had to think of something wonderfully amazing to do for their anniversary. After all, absolutely nothing mattered as much to Jonny as Chris did. "Hey, where's Walter?"

Chris took a deep breath. "That is a very good question. I feel like one of us should know the answer, but I certainly have no clue."

"Maybe he's still sleeping?"

"That's definitely a possibility, though when I went past his room earlier, it was empty." Chris tapped his fingers on the table, trying to think of where Retaw could be. "Oh, well. I'm sure he's doing all right, wherever he is."

Retaw was doing more than all right, actually. He was feeling positively splendid. After he woke up, he decided to take a walk around the block. Once he'd finished the first lap, he found himself wanting to walk even more. He ended up walking around the same path nearly twenty times before he even thought about it. Eventually he realised that quite some time had passed since he'd left the apartment, and that Chris and Jonny were probably wondering where he'd gone to.

He slowly made his way back to the building, hoping that Chris and Jonny weren't worried about him. When he reached the bottom of the stairs leading up to the apartment, he noticed something odd. Someone was curled up in the corner by the door, wrapped up in a giant, black blanket. The dark hair peeking through at the top told Retaw that it was probably Guy. Why he was sitting there like that was anybody's guess, but Retaw decided not to bother him.

"I'm guessing that's him," Chris said to Jonny as the sound of the door closing rang through the apartment. Sure enough, Retaw's tall figure soon walked through the doorway and into the kitchen.

"Hello, Martin. Jonathan," he said to them as he nonchalantly walked over to the fridge. Pulling out a water bottle from the top shelf, he continued, "How are you two this morning?"

"Um, I'm doing OK," Chris answered.

"Where were you?" Jonny asked. Retaw quickly took a sip from the water bottle, then joined Chris and Jonny at the table.

"I went for a walk," he replied. "Actually, I went for quite a few walks."

"Oh," Jonny plainly said. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh, yes!" Retaw said, a huge grin spreading across his face as his eyes lit up. "I really enjoyed walking around. This is a very nice neighborhood."

"Nice, really?" Jonny laughed. "Maybe we should go for another walk later, and you can show me what's nice about it."

Retaw gave Jonny a rather confused look, and Chris cleared his throat. "Jon," he said, quietly and in a very serious manner. Jonny looked up at Chris, frightened for a few seconds, because Chris never called him Jon unless there was something wrong. Then he noticed Chris was clutching his arm, and Jonny realised what he meant.

"Sorry." He tried to continue his conversation with Retaw, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere now. "Uh... Yeah, it's... well, this place could be better."

"What happened?" Retaw asked, despite his thoughts that he wouldn't receive a straight answer. He was right; Chris and Jonny tried to tip-toe around the question, and had somehow successfully managed to steer the conversation in the direction of chickens dancing to songs with Spanish titles on rooftops in winter. Even though he had been present and paying attention the whole time, Retaw didn't understand how they had done so, but he figured it was probably Chris's doing. After all, that man was all over the place.

After Chris and Jonny had finished their lively discussion, the three headed out to the living room to watch TV. Retaw insisted they watch iCarly, but the other two had had enough of it. There are only so many times you can watch teenagers battle their trivial problems. Plus, it's always the same exact episode playing.

Instead, Chris stole the remote and forced Retaw and Jonny to watch Montel. And then The Price is Right. And then The Young and the Restless.

And then Jonny held Chris down while Retaw quickly grabbed the remote and changed the channel.

For the rest of the afternoon, up until it was time for Chris to leave for work, they watched some cop movie that was on. No one was sure what it was called, but it was pretty intense, and the main actor seemed to do a fantastic job. The supporting actors did, too, of course.

When Chris left, Jonny and Retaw were left sitting around quietly, trying to think of what to do. The silence was almost painfully awkward, and it took nearly ten minutes for either of them to speak up.

"So..." Jonny unhelpfully began.

"Oh!" Retaw exclaimed, suddenly hit with an idea. "Did you want to go for a walk?"

"Uh, sure," Jonny shrugged. "Why not?"

The sun was beginning to set, and since it was a fall day, it was rather chilly out. Jonny and Retaw both sported nice, black jackets as they strolled around, which kept them cozy and warm.

"Will you tell me what happened?" Jonny looked questioningly at Retaw. "Earlier, I asked you what happened, but you guys just started talking about chickens. Am I not allowed to know?"

Jonny lowered his head and watched his feet move across the sidewalk. "Chris doesn't like to talk about it. Which is completely understandable. It's something that happened a few years ago... before we even met you." Jonny looked up at Retaw again, as a realization shone through his eyes. "Wow, a lot's happened since then... but it's still a sensitive subject, you know? If Chris wants to tell you, he'll tell you."

Retaw nodded and accepted the explanation, and the two began to turn the corner. As they did so, however, another body came walking towards them. The other body collided with Retaw, sending them both to the ground. Retaw quickly reassembled himself, and looked around for the other body.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" a silky voice said. Retaw soon found the origin of the voice, and was surprised by what he saw. The other body appeared to be a woman with pin-straight, dark brown hair.

-

"It's quite all right," Retaw absentmindedly said to the mysterious woman. She pushed back some of her hair, and Retaw could see that she had the most beautiful hazel eyes, over which her eyebrows curved perfectly. Her nose came to a rounded point just above her thin, pink lips. She looked back at Retaw for a few moments before a realizing smile formed.

"Hey, aren't you the guy I talked to in the mall last week?" she asked.

"Um, yes," Retaw replied, still hypnotized by the woman. She fully smiled at him and held out her hand.

"I'm Logella. Sorry that I didn't get the chance to introduce myself before... I just wasn't really feeling like myself that day." Retaw gently shook her hand, and as their skin touched a weird sort of spark was in the air.

"Walter," he said in as manly as way as he could muster. "It's nice to meet you... Logella."

"It's quite a name, isn't it?" she laughed as she noticed Retaw's odd facial expression. "I guess my parents were bored when they named me."

"It's interesting, certainly. Not bad, though," Retaw genuinely said. She continued to smile at him, and her eyes wandered to Jonny.

"You are not the same person I saw in the mall last week," she stated matter-of-factly, pointing her finger at Jonny. "The other guy had a huge mass of hair."

Jonny casually shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and chuckled, "Yeah, that would be Chris. He's my husband, actually. I'm Jonny."

"Aw, that's sweet!" she exclaimed, slightly tilting her head to one side. "How long have you been married?"

"A year, tomorrow."

"Oh, wow, happy anniversary to you! I wish you all the happiness in the world," she smiled.

"Thank you," Jonny quietly replied, thoughts of potential gifts for Chris filling his mind again. He still had to think of the perfect thing. Meanwhile, Logella turned her bubbly self back to Retaw.

"Walter," she began, pensively stroking her chin. "I feel like we should be great friends. Maybe we'll run into each other again! Of course, not literally, like this time. That kinda hurt. But, I live only a few minutes from here... do you live here?"

"Yeah, actually, we live in that building right down there." Retaw pointed to a few buildings down from where they were standing, and Logella turned her beautiful hazel eyes to see.

"Oh! So, then we shall be seeing a lot of each other, hopefully."

"That would be nice," Retaw said with the most sincerity he had ever used. Logella noticed it, and was temporarily frozen as she stared admiringly at him. After a few moments she shook herself back to reality.

"Jonny, it was nice to meet you," she smiled to Jonny.

"Nice to meet you, too."

Logella took one last look at Retaw, then waved and chirped, "See you guys around, then!" before walking away.

Retaw and Jonny returned to the apartment in silence. Jonny was strenuously pondering his gift, and Retaw was too busy recounting previous events and smiling to himself. It was only once they were both sitting down on the sofa that either of them paid any attention to the other. They simultaneously looked at each other, Jonny's eyes idea-less and Retaw's smile as wide as ever.

"You like that woman, don't you?" Jonny blatantly said. Retaw cluelessly kept his smile on. Slowly, though, the smile began to fade, leaving only a surprised Retaw behind.

"Oh... I suppose I do," he said. "And she's a human. This is... odd..." After a few contemplative moments, Retaw smiled again, and to answer Jonny's questioning face he said,"But I like it. I like her."

"Cool. It's nice to like someone." Jonny looked away from Retaw and around the room. He seemed to zone out, adding, "It's great to love someone."

"Jonathan, you've known Martin for a lot longer than I have. You should know that he won't care what you get him, because he already has what he wants. Anything else could be nice to have, but it's all just trivial and useless without you. And that's what you should be celebrating, anyway, is each other. That's what weddings are, I don't see why anniversaries wouldn't be the same."

"You know what? I think you're right. I still want to give him something, though..." Jonny searched around for an idea, and he found one laying on the table by the door. There was a small notepad that they would use to jot down small things, some of which were important and some of which were not. Jonny stood up and walked over to it, saying, "I'm gonna write him a poem."

"I think that is something he would definitely like," Retaw said as Jonny sat back down with the pad and a pen in his hands. He stared at the blank page for a few seconds, tapping the pen on it's surface.

"I'm rubbish at writing poems, though."

Retaw shrugged, "Give it your best. He won't hate it if you try."

Jonny nodded and began to write. He had several lines down before he decided that it was all bad, and started over on a fresh page. He wasn't the best at expressing his feelings, and he certainly had no rhyming skills whatsoever- both were Chris's area of expertise, actually- but he really did try.

Jonny worked on that poem for as long as his brain would allow, even staying in the living room long after Retaw had yawned his head off and left for bed. As Chris had left for work hours ago, he had at one point made it to the store, and had then begun to work. Naturally, he had been continuing his work ever since. So, there he was, just about to stock a box of spaghetti, when suddenly a voice called to him.

"Chris, can I speak with you for a minute?" Chris looked up to see the manager, who was standing about a foot away from him. He placed the box he was holding on the shelf, then turned.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Chris followed the man to the end of the aisle, where they both stopped. After a moment of silence, Chris asked, "What's up?"

The manager nervously wrung his hands. He was struggling to come up with the right words, and he decided to take a detour with small talk. "How's life at home? You guys doing OK?"

"It's not bad," Chris replied, absentmindedly pushing a few of his curls behind his ear. "Jonny lost his job a few weeks ago."

"He did?" the manager cut in.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

"Shit," he muttered. Chris looked at him questioningly for a few seconds before he realised what the manager wanted to say.

"Are you serious?" he whined, tightening his eyes shut and brushing a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry, Chris. I really, truly am sorry. You know, hard economic times, the store's just not doing so well... If it was up to me, I'd actually get rid of everyone except you. You're one of the best, if not the best." The manager sighed, "But it's not up to me."

"Oh, man..." Chris's eyes were now glassy, and his face was pale and sad.

The manager simply looked at Chris and groaned before saying, "Being professional for a moment... finish up your shift, clock out and hand in your uniform... please." He took a step forward and placed a friendly hand on Chris's shoulder. "I'm so sorry." Chris watched as he walked away, then slugged his own way over to his nearly empty pallet, and began to once more- and for the last time- destroy his soul with groceries.

When he arrived home that night, Jonny was sleeping, as usual. Chris quietly laid down beside him, thinking about everything that had happened and everything that would happen to them. He wanted to be brave, wanted to be able to say that they'd get through just fine, but he couldn't do it. Watching Jonny sleep beautifully was more than he could handle, and his bravery was completely knocked down as tears fell onto his pillow. The few tears soon turned to many, and he was sobbing heavily within moments. Jonny stirred a bit, and Chris hoped that he wouldn't wake up, but he couldn't control the sobbing.

"Chris, what's wrong?" Jonny hoarsely asked. Chris gasped for air and tried to calm himself.

"D-d-d-don't worry ab-about it, Jonny, OK?" he said, sniffing and hiccuping along the way. "Just go back to sleep, we'll talk in the morning." Jonny, not being an idiot, could tell that Chris was extremely upset, but he didn't want to agitate him, so he didn't press any further. Instead, he scooted over and wrapped his arms around Chris, allowing Chris's wet cheek to rest on his shoulder. Jonny closed his eyes and eventually drifted back into unconsciousness, but not a minute before Chris had cried himself to sleep.

-

"What are we gonna do?" Chris whispered to Jonny. It was morning, but they were still lying in bed, Chris wrapped up in Jonny's arms. Jonny was deep in thought, trying to wrap his head around the news Chris had just delivered.

"What can we do?" he finally replied. "I mean, until either one of us finds another job... we're fucked."

Chris quietly whimpered, sad and pained. "We barely have enough to make it through the end of this week, let alone-" He was cut short by the interruption of sudden tears, which he tried to smother by pressing his face against Jonny's chest.

"No, Chris, please don't... don't cry, don't stress out, please? It's not good for you, and I hate to see you like this."

"I know, and I hate being like this, but I can't help it." Chris picked his head up and looked at Jonny with teary eyes, searching for hope. "Jonny, remember how when you lost your job, I said everything would work out?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think everything will work out?" Jonny thought for a few moments, gently stroking Chris's hair. Finally, he lowered his head to Chris's and halfheartedly smiled.

"It has to, right? Things can't always be bad... One day we'll wake up and find that we're OK." He expected to see relief in Chris's expression, but nothing changed.

"Can you promise me something?" Chris asked. Jonny brought his hand to Chris's cheek and lightly brushed the skin.

"What?"

"Promise you'll tell me that every day until it happens." Chris's eyes were still searching for the hope they had not yet found. "Because I want to believe it, I really do."

"OK, I promise," Jonny immediately said, not pausing for even a second.

Then, nasally and dripping with sadness, Chris said, "Happy anniversary, by the way." Jonny smiled and quickly kissed him, but Chris didn't want to let go. He eagerly took Jonny's lips with his own and held on for as long as he could manage. He became more and more aggressive, until he found himself hovering above Jonny, burying his face in Jonny's neck. Jonny loved every minute of it, though, and he held on to Chris's back as they feverishly kissed. Chris sat back for a moment, peeling off his shirt, then froze.

He slowly backed off Jonny, and got out of the bed. He walked out of the room, towards the direction of Retaw's room. Jonny sat back and watched curiously, and a minute later Chris walked by again, passing right by the room. Another minute later, he was back for good, and he closed the door behind him and threw his wadded-up shirt on the floor. He crawled back to where Jonny was sitting, and smiled.

"Walter's gone, apparently, so it looks like we've got the place to ourselves," he said, stroking Jonny's arm with one finger. When he spoke, there was this glimmer in his eye that drove Jonny absolutely crazy.

"Oh, yeah?" Jonny seductively replied, raising one eyebrow. Chris slowly nodded, then leaned in to catch Jonny's lips. Jonny welcomed this action, and he involuntarily let out a deep moan as Chris's hand traveled down past the elastic band of his pajama pants.

Just outside the apartment building, Retaw was sitting quietly on the steps. It was already a lovely day outside, very sunny and warm. There was hardly a cloud in the bright blue sky. Still, he longed for something else.

He had come to rest on the steps in hopes of seeing Logella. It was a long shot, he knew, but she did say that she only lived a few minutes away. Maybe she'd be out shopping or something. Even after watching dozens of people walk by, even after staring at the sidewalk's occupants for four hours- he'd been too eager to sleep, and had been sitting outside since 6:00 A.M.- he still persisted. Every now and then a passerby would give him a funny look, but he would just shrug it off. It's not like he was doing anything illegal, anyway, he was just sitting.

He was utterly surprised, of course, when suddenly he heard his name being called out. He looked up and to the left to see a dark-haired woman walking towards him, a bright yellow sun dress sticking neatly to her figure.

"Hi, Walter!" she exclaimed as she stopped in front of him. Retaw gentlemanly stood up and bowed to her, which made her giggle. She had the softest, sweetest laugh, the kind that could probably give someone diabetes if they weren't careful. "You don't have to bow, I'm not the Queen. Geez!"

As soon as Retaw straightened up again, Logella walked into him and squeezed her arms around his torso. It was very strange; not only was it the first hug Retaw had ever gotten as a human, but there was also this really fuzzy feeling in his stomach. When Logella took her arms back, the spots she'd been burned with the echo of her touch. She blinked her hazel eyes at Retaw, waiting for him to speak.

"So, what's up with you today?" she asked after she realized Retaw wasn't going to say anything.

"Um, nothing really." Retaw awkwardly stared at the ground, trying not to show how strangely happy he felt. Luckily, Logella didn't seem to notice anything about his behavior.

"Yeah, pretty much the same here. Well, actually, I'm going to this thing tonight..." Logella nervously ran a hand through her long, dark hair. "Do you like art?"

"Art? I suppose," Retaw replied.

"Would you like to come with me to an exhibit tonight? It'll be pretty boring, but maybe not so much if you're there." Retaw looked up at Logella, finally understanding what she meant. Her eyes were watching him with hope, and when he smiled she looked relieved.

"I would love to," Retaw beamed. Logella clapped her hands together and smiled at him, before reaching into her purse.

"Right, let's see..." She pulled out a purple sheet of paper and handed it to Retaw. "This will tell you all about it, where it is and stuff."

Retaw grabbed the sheet from Logella and gave it a once-over. Just then, another man was making his way down the apartment building's steps.

"Oh, hey, Walter," Chris said as he walked off the last step, "Hey..." He stopped and looked hard at Logella, then said, "I don't believe we've met."

"I'm Logella," she said, holding out her hand. Chris shook it, and she continued, "You must be Chris. We kinda met in the mall that one day."

"Oh, right." Chris turned to Retaw. "Well, I'm just running out to get a paper, do you want anything?"

"Uh, no, thank you," Retaw answered, then narrowed his eyes at Chris. "What's up with your hair?"

Chris's eyes went wide, and his hand immediately reached to fix his hair, which he only just realized must have been all over the place. "Uh... I just, you know, just woke up." Logella started to laugh, and Chris looked at her with embarrassment. "Well, I did!" She didn't stop laughing, though, so Chris just huffed and walked away.

"Why are you laughing?" Retaw sincerely asked. Logella began to settle down, but she kept her bright smile on.

"You're not like anyone I've ever met before, Walter, you know that?"

"What do you mean?" Retaw was beginning to worry now. Logella was staring at him with some sort of emotion he couldn't identify. Was there any possible way for her to know his secret?

"I don't know... you're just... different. It's not bad, though," she reassuringly smiled. "It's good to be different." Retaw and Logella stared at each other for a minute, and Retaw had the strong urge to kiss her, but he didn't dare. He was worried that it might be too inappropriate, or that she wouldn't want him to. Then, after a minute of silence, Logella said, "Well, I should probably get going, then. But I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

"Definitely," Retaw said. His heart fluttered as Logella waved goodbye to him, then began to walk to wherever her next destination was.

He thought about her words, It's good to be different. He'd never met anyone like her before, either. She had this magnetic and bright personality that Retaw just couldn't stop thinking about. She seemed to rather like him, too, which only made his crazy heartbeat worse. Then he realized he'd basically been asked out on a date. He started to panic a little, totally unprepared, but as he sat down on the steps to give his shaking knees a break, he remembered what great friends he had. Chris and Jonny were experts at this sort of thing, surely they'd be able to give him some help. After all, they certainly did a good job teaching him to be human; a job like this would be a snap.

-

"You're really determined, aren't you?" Jonny asked Chris. Chris was bent over that day's newspaper, viciously circling almost the entire page. Jonny wondered how Chris didn't tear through the paper with the pen.

"Yep," he simply replied, and continued with his marking. By the time he finished, there were only about four ads that had been left alone. He held the paper up eye-level and scanned it. "Well, hopefully I'll find something."

"Looks like you've already found everything," Jonny sarcastically noted. Chris brought the paper down and turned his head to Jonny.

"Hopefully, I'll be employed sometime soon." Chris narrowed his eyes at the newspaper and called to the other room. "Hey, Walter? Can you get me that notepad on the table by the door?"

Retaw appeared within seconds, his humanly hands carrying the tiny pad of paper. He walked over to Chris and set it beside Chris's elbow. He quickly glanced at Jonny before turning to leave.

"Thank you, Walter!" Chris said. He picked up the notepad and flipped it open. Something on the first page caught his eye. He read it over and over for a few minutes, then looked at Jonny, mystified.

"What?" Jonny asked quite innocently. Chris glanced quickly at the paper again, then back to Jonny.

"You wrote this?" Chris quietly asked. He placed the notepad on the table and spun it around so Jonny could see. Jonny read the paper, and his cheeks flushed a reddish hue.

"Oh, yeah," Jonny mumbled. He slowly reached out for the paper and tried to rip it from its home, crumpling it slightly in the process. Chris's hand caught his, though, and stopped him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to destroy it." Chris let go of Jonny's hand and sat back in his chair.

"Why?" Chris looked sad, like he was a little kid whose favorite teddy bear had mysteriously disappeared. Jonny looked down at the half-attached paper in his hand, then at Chris.

"Because it's terrible," he cautiously replied. Chris sighed and smiled.

"But I love it. And I love you. And I love that you would do something like that for me." Chris placed his hand on Jonny's once more. "It's very sweet, Jonny. You shouldn't be embarrassed of it."

Jonny blushed and hid his head. "I'm not nearly as good as you are."

"I think you are." Jonny slowly looked up, and Chris smiled as he continued. "And even if you aren't, who cares? It's the thought that counts."

"I love you, Chris." Chris widened his smile and turn Jonny's hand over so he could interlace their fingers. Suddenly, there was an 'awwww' coming from behind him, so he turned to look. Retaw was standing in the doorway, watching them with envious eyes. He looked a little embarrassed as he realized he'd been caught, and he walked into the room and over by the table.

"You two are very lucky to have each other," he quietly said. He thoughtfully paused, then continued, "Can you two help me with something?"

"Sure, what is it?" Chris replied. Retaw moved around to the other side of the table and took a seat. He fiddled with the salt and pepper shakers as he tried to think of exactly what to say.

"You know that girl we met at the mall?" he asked.

"Um, yeah," Chris said. "Logella, is that it?" Retaw nodded and messed with the shakers some more.

"I'm going to an art thing with her tonight." Chris and Jonny exchanged glances, then Chris cleared his throat.

"OK. So-"

"It's a date, isn't it?" Retaw bluntly interrupted and looked up. "She asked me out on a date?"

"It certainly sounds like it," Chris replied, honestly. He shifted a little in his chair. "Do you want it to be a date?"

Retaw nodded almost instantly, which surprised himself a bit. Not the answer, just his quickness to respond. "Yes, I would like very much for it to be a date."

Chris smiled, but was held back from replying by a snort of laughter coming from Jonny's direction. Chris slowly turned to Jonny and blinked a few times. "What is so funny?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Jonny responded, unconvincingly playing dumb. "I don't know you're talking about."

"Jonathan, Walter," Chris gestured across the table, as if Jonny was unaware of who Retaw was, "likes a girl, and you're laughing at him. It's not easy to like someone and be in a situation where you're not sure if they like you back."

"Sorry," Jonny said, sinking into his seat a little. He knew that Chris was very sensitive about things of such a nature, but he had trouble holding his laugh back. "It's just... weird, that he would like a girl. A human girl." He turned to Retaw and said, "Walter, it's good to like someone- better if they like you back- but the thing is... sooner or later, she's going to find out you're not human."

"Oh. I hadn't thought about that," Retaw muttered. He bowed his head and frowned at the shakers. It seemed like he just wasn't destined for love. Every time an opportunity arose, there was always some problem standing in his way, some obstacle he just couldn't overcome.

Then, as if he could read Retaw's mind, Chris said, "Don't give up, Walter. Maybe she won't mind, or if she does, you'll find someone else who doesn't mind..." Chris paused, probably thinking of how dumb that sounded, but he spoke with so much passion that Retaw didn't mind if his words hardly made sense. "The point is, you can't give up looking for that one person. And when you find them, tell them as soon as possible. Don't wait three years."

"Three years?" Jonny repeated, sounding rather surprised. Chris quickly gave him a look that said Forget about it, then continued his speech to Retaw.

"You will find someone, I promise." He shrugged, "Maybe it'll take a while, but you will. I know you will."

"Thank you," Retaw quietly said, and Chris nodded.

"Walter, what exactly did you want help with?" Jonny asked. Retaw was silent for a few moments, and he pushed the salt and pepper shakers into their original positions.

"I need to know how to act on a date. I thought maybe one of you could teach me before tonight," he replied. He looked back and forth between Chris and Jonny. Jonny turned to Chris, too, and Chris snorted.

"Don't look at me," he laughed, putting his hands out in front of him and backing his chair away. Jonny chuckled and turned back to Retaw.

"Fine, Walter, I'll help you."

"Thank you, Jonathan," Retaw beamed. He clapped his hands together and jumped up from his seat. "So, where do we start?"

Jonny shot a look at Chris with a little bit of hope that he'd get at least a speck of help, but Chris was just staring blankly at him. Then he gave a smile, sort of smug, but also sort of encouraging, and Jonny rolled his eyes and stood up with Retaw.

"First things first," Jonny said, clasping Retaw's shoulder and leading him out of the room. "We need to work on your wardrobe."

"My wardrobe?" Retaw repeated as they walked to Chris and Jonny's room.

"Yes. You see," Jonny began, "some girls like that redneck look, and maybe the girl you're going with likes it, but it's not really the sort of attire you want to wear to an 'art thing.' After all, you want her to think you have class, right? I mean, you do have class, so you want it to show."

"And wearing different clothes will do that?" Retaw asked. Jonny nodded. "Interesting."

Jonny and Retaw stopped in front of the closet filled with mostly Jonny's clothes, as Chris only had a few select outfits that he wore. "Now, Chris doesn't have many clothes, so most of these are mine. But I know for a fact that there are somewhere in here some really, really nice-looking clothes that Chris refuses to ever wear. You can borrow some of them for tonight."

"Chris won't mind?"

Jonny shook his head, "He probably doesn't remember owning them. The last time I saw him wear anything that was really fancy was when we got married."

"Oh, OK." Jonny searched through a pile of clothes that were shoved into the corner of the closet, and pulled out a plain, black, long-sleeved shirt. It was a bit wrinkled, but had no imperfections otherwise.

"Here, try this on," Jonny said, handing the shirt to Retaw. "I'll try to find some pants, too."

Retaw observed the shirt as he held it out in front of him. He thought it might look good on him, and that thought sent his excitement soaring. Date or not, he was just happy to be spending time with Logella. And if he could look stunning while doing so, then that was even better.

-

Logella pinched her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger. She stared hard at the wall, tapped her foot a few times, then sighed.

"I'm sorry this is so boring," she said to Retaw. Retaw just smiled at her kindly.

"It's not boring." In truth, it was very boring, but he liked being around Logella, so it wasn't much of a punishment to stand there and stare at a canvas that was nearly empty save for a few splatters carelessly thrown about. Logella saw right through his lie.

"If you don't think this is boring, something's wrong with you," she laughed. Retaw laughed with her, admiring the way she laughed heartily but managed to show only half of her teeth as she did so.

"It's not the most interesting thing, certainly," he admitted, "but... it could be worse."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, daringly raising one eyebrow.

"Yeah." They both silently stared at each other for a while, half-smiling. Then Logella turned hers in to a full smile and grabbed Retaw's arm.

"Come on, let's go look at some more crap- I mean, art." She pulled him away and down the wall a bit, though she didn't need to use much force.

The next display was another nearly empty canvas, but this particular one was decorated with a single pink line diagonal through the middle. Logella just shook her head at it as the sound of approaching footsteps drew nearer.

"You like it?" a cool female voice asked. Logella already knew who was talking, but she spun around anyway.

"Yeah, it's great!" she exclaimed in an obvious tone. She hugged her friend, then turned to Retaw. "Walter, this is my friend Lindsay. These are her lovely works of art."

"It's nice to meet you," Retaw kindly replied, and he held out his hand for Lindsay to shake.

"Pleasure."

"Walter's my new friend," Logella said to Lindsay. "We met last week. And then again yesterday. And a third time this morning!" Logella laughed, though even she recognized that nothing she had said was even remotely funny. "So, I asked him to come with me. He likes your stuff, too."

"Does he?" Lindsay replied, her voice finally expressing a hint of enthusiasm.

"I do?" Retaw asked Logella. But he was still facing Lindsay when he said it, and with his accent and the way he uttered the words it sounded like he was confirming. Lindsay smiled at him contentedly.

"Great! Well, I'll leave you two to keep looking around... see you later, I suppose!" Lindsay waved goodbye, then spun around and walked away.

"God, she is so annoying," Logella quietly said through her teeth.

"I thought you were her friend," Retaw replied. Logella turned to him and laughed.

"You don't have very many social skills, do you?"

"What do you mean?" Retaw asked.

"I mean," she pointedly began, "that sometimes you have to lie to certain people in order to get on their good sides, and you need to be on their good sides. You know?"

Retaw scrunched up his face in confusion. "So, you mean that this friend of yours is of some importance to you for reasons other than friendship?"

"That's a long way of putting it, but yes." Retaw stared blankly at Logella, so she decided to continue. "You see, she's my boss's daughter. I've got to be on good terms with her, so my boss will like me more. And maybe I'll finally get the promotion I've been after for the past three years." There was a new bitter tone in her voice, but Logella quickly composed herself and smiled at Retaw.

"I see."

"Yeah... You know what?" Logella briefly looked at their surroundings, probably searching for Lindsay. "I think we've been here long enough. Let's go."

"Go where?" Retaw asked as Logella grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the exit.

"Anywhere," she simply replied. As they left the building, the chilly night air hit them with only a light amount of force. There were quite a few people wandering on the sidewalk, since it was still relatively early in the evening. Logella guided them through the pedestrians down to a lesser populated street, where she hesitantly let go of Retaw's hand.

They walked in silence for a good ten minutes or so. The streetlights were on now, bathing them in an orange glow every once in a while. Logella would stare at the ground, and Retaw would stare at Logella, then they'd switch. Each tried to hide this from the other, but were both unsuccessful.

"It's a beautiful night," Retaw awkwardly said.

"Yeah, it is. I always liked fall nights. They're just..." Logella shrugged and looked at Retaw. He thought he saw her eyes sparkle. "...magical."

"They're certainly nice."

Logella laughed and grabbed Retaw's hand again. Then she stopped walking and looked straight at him.

"Listen, Walter. I like you. It might be weird to say that, since we haven't known each other for very long, have we?" Retaw would have responded, if his mind hadn't been stuck on 'I like you.' Logella didn't really expect an answer, though. "But it's true. I don't know, there's just something about you."

"I like you, too," Retaw muttered, still in awe. Logella smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Retaw felt his heart beat a little faster, and his cheeks felt hot. But everything was going swimmingly, which was, for some reason, just what Chris and Jonny were wondering.

"He's probably doing fine," Jonny said. Not a minute had passed since Retaw's departure where Chris didn't fret over whether or not Retaw would be able to handle the night. Jonny was used to Chris's odd worrying, though.

"Oh, what if it doesn't go well for him? What if she doesn't like him like that, but he tells her he likes her, then she's all disgusted and leaves? He could be a wreck for days!" Chris exclaimed. Jonny reached out and placed his hand on Chris's cheek.

"Chris, honey, not everyone's like you." Chris sarcastically smiled, and playfully shoved Jonny's arm.

"I just don't want him to get hurt. It's not fun."

"I know," Jonny nodded. "I think it's cute that you're so worried about him. But he's a grown man, he can take care of himself."

Chris opened his mouth to reply, but the only sound that could be heard was a knock at the door. Jonny went to answer it, while Chris stayed on the couch and wondered how often a thing like this happens.

"Is Walter in?"

"No, he's not." Jonny stood silently and looked Guy over. He was wearing what Jonny considered to be normal clothes, but something was different about him. He looked as though he had taken special pride in his appearance, and he was even smiling. "Would you like me to tell him you asked for him when he gets back?"

"Yes, that would be good. Thank you," Guy replied in monotone.

"Sure." Jonny waited only one more second before closing the door. He slowly turned around to face Chris, who was still pondering life. "Is there anything weirder than a weird person who's not acting weird?"

Chris snapped out of his thoughts, and stared blankly at Jonny. "...Yes?" he guessed.

"Guy was just at the door," Jonny explained, walking back over to Chris, "and he was acting... normal? It was weird."

"What did he want?" Chris asked, tilting his head inquiringly.

"Walter. And he was calm... I guess he likes Walter for some reason."

Chris absentmindedly nodded, then gasped loudly and widened his eyes. Jonny raised his eyebrow, invoking a response. "What if Guy is an alien, too?"  
"Seriously?" Jonny laughed.

"Hey, you never know! And it would account for him connecting with Walter and being so weird. I mean, Walter's pretty weird, too."

"So are you, and you're not an alien," Jonny pointed out. "Are you?"

"Yes, I am," Chris blankly replied, with still wide eyes.

Jonny narrowed his eyes. "You know, it actually wouldn't surprise me."

Chris laughed, and any response he would have given was once again cut off by a interruption from the door. This time, though, it was Retaw, and he didn't bother knocking, of course. He silently walked in, and Jonny asked how the night went.

"Great," Retaw simply said, smiling. "Absolutely wonderful."

"See? There was nothing to worry about," Jonny said to Chris. Then he turned back to Retaw. "Oh, by the way, Guy came round not too long ago and wanted to know if you were here. I guess you could go talk to him, if you want."

"You don't have to, though," Chris said as quietly as he could. "Guy is crazy, and I wouldn't blame you for not going over there."

"I'm glad to have your permission, Martin," Retaw laughed, "but I think I can handle Guy. Thank you for telling me, Jonathan."

Jonny nodded, and with that, Retaw left to go see Guy.

-

The box was no less an eyesore than it had been the last time Retaw had visited Guy, even though this time the box was shoved into a corner of the room. Of course, a blue, wooden box the size of a refrigerator is not something that would typically fit in with a room otherwise empty, with the exception of two chairs. Two chairs which, at the present moment, were set facing each other, both occupied by Guy and Retaw.

Guy had his one leg crossed over the other, hands folded neatly over his knee, and was simply observing Retaw. Naturally, this put Retaw under a sort of spotlight, and creeped him out quite a bit. To balance it out, though, he decided to stare back. After all, Guy was as much a mystery to Retaw as Retaw was to Guy.

But Retaw wasn't really a mystery to Guy.

"Thank you for coming," Guy quietly said. Retaw straightened his back a little.

"Sure." Guy tilted his head, but said nothing. Retaw felt the need to go on. "Is there any particular reason for you wishing to see me?"

"There's always a reason for everything, isn't there?" Guy thoughtfully replied.

"I suppose there is. What's the reason for this, then?"

Guy unfolded his hands, uncrossed his legs, and frowned. "I know."

"You know... what the reason is?" Retaw narrowed his eyes. "I'd certainly hope so."  
"Of course I know what the reason is. The reason is that I know." Retaw wasn't any less confused, if the strange look on his face proved anything. Guy stood up and began to pace in between the two chairs. He rubbed his hands together, then let them fall to his side. Then he scratched his ear, and finally stopped walking. He was a bit off to the side of Retaw's chair, so he turned in his spot.

"You know what?" Retaw asked. Guy simply shook his head.

"People think I'm crazy, you know?" Guy said, a maniacal tone in his voice. He slowly stepped towards Retaw, which made Retaw rather nervous. "I think I'm crazy, too. But I also think that I know what I see. I don't make things up, and I don't... hallucinate, or whatever." He stopped right in front of Retaw, and leaned forward. "I know what I see."

Retaw looked into Guy's eyes. He was sure Guy was crazy, too, but something in Guy's eyes told him not to discredit what he was hearing. There was some sort of passion behind them, some sort of truth that Retaw knew he needed to hear out.

"What do you see?"

Guy's face changed. He hadn't looked angry or upset before, but more or less blank, and now he suddenly looked happy. He walked back over to his chair, with actually more of a quirky skip than a walk. He sat down, and laid his hands on his lap.

"I see everything. More or less. And I hear everything." Guy looked down at his hands, carefully watching them, and lightly blinked a few times. "I'm just observant, not creepy. Most of the time."

"Are there times when you are creepy?" Guy raised his eyes to Retaw, and thought for a moment. Then he slowly shrugged.

"We're all creepy. In our own ways," Guy replied. "And we all have secrets."

Retaw was frankly surprised by his own patience. It seemed like every time he was about to get an answer, Guy said something that was even more vague and complicated than the last. But he didn't mind the steady pace at which the conversation was going.

"What are your secrets?" Retaw calmly asked.

"Let me show you something." Guy stood up, glared at Retaw, then turned. He walked towards the box in the corner, and Retaw got the sudden urge to follow him. "I found this two years ago," Guy began, placing his hands on the box with fascination. "I lost it when..." Guy quickly removed his hands and looked at Retaw. "But I got it back."

"You kept a box for two years?" Retaw was trying to sounds as nonjudgmental as he could, which was difficult since Guy was just exuding insanity.

"I know things that no one else does. No one except your friends." Guy pulled the box back and spun it around. Retaw watched, and as he did so, his eyes began to widen.

He had not been mistaken when he thought he saw urgent-looking letters on the box. They were indeed very urgent, and very large. And they spelled out FOR CHRIS.

"How... where did you find this?" Retaw stammered.

"In a dumpster," Guy replied. "I saw it when I was taking out the trash one day... the dumpster behind the restaurant. That's where it was. And something clicked when I saw it. I remembered."

"Remembered what?"

"Spaceships, tiny purple creatures with booming voices, some curly-haired guy and some guy in a hat. Talking, talking, and then gone. In the spaceship. Flashes of light. And then... absolutely nothing." Guy stopped, pausing to catch his breath after spewing out a bunch of information. "I remembered everything that happened, everyone who was there." Guy lowered his head and lowered his voice. "But no one believed me. The people I know were there with me... they thought I was crazy."

"That is pretty unbelievable." Retaw ran a hand across his forehead pensively.

"But it's the truth," Guy said, a hint of anger in his voice. "And then after... I moved here, and I recognized Chris. Then I recognized Jonny. And I figured it out."

"So, you know," Retaw obviously stated.

Guy nodded. "You're an alien."

"You won't tell anyone, right?" Retaw panicked. "No one can know, please. It'll ruin everything. I just want to be human now. I want to fit in, I don't want to be what I was."

Guy laughed with a liveliness that frightened Retaw. "Haven't you been listening? No one would believe me if I told them!" He saw the look of fear on Retaw's face and tried to settle down. "I trust you. So you can trust me."

Retaw thought for a moment, staring at Guy. Then he nodded. "Thank you."

"Can I ask you something?" Guy sang with a childlike innocence, catching Retaw slightly off-guard.

"Uh, yeah."

"That girl you were talking to... she's special to you?"

"Yeah, she is," Retaw decisively replied.

"There's something about her." Retaw wholeheartedly agreed, though maybe not in the same way, but he could think of no reply, so the room just echoed with silence for a few moments.

"I think it's time for me to go back now," he finally spoke. "It's getting late."

"Yeah." Guy accompanied Retaw to the door. Once opened, Guy held on to the wooden rectangle as Retaw stepped into the hallway. "Walter," Retaw looked up at Guy with questioning eyes, "everyone has their secrets."  
Guy's words replayed in Retaw's mind as he walked back to Chris and Jonny's apartment. He was staggered that Guy had managed to recall the day Retaw had first come to Earth. His race's technology was supposed to be way more advanced than human technology, so anyone somehow breaking through the memory wipe was an incredible, if not thought to be impossible, task.

Nevertheless, Retaw actually did trust Guy with the information. He didn't seem to be out for any personal gain, and Retaw didn't even know who Guy would tell, anyway. What did bother him, though, was the mention of Logella. It just reminded Retaw that he was basically lying to someone who he really liked, and it made him feel horrible. Sure, everyone has their secrets, but that didn't make him feel any better.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Jonny asked as he saw Retaw enter the room. He and Chris were sitting on the couch, Chris sleeping soundly with his head resting on Jonny's shoulder.

"Well... Guy knows that I'm not human," Retaw cautiously replied.

"What?" Jonny looked down at Chris, making sure that his outburst hadn't woken him up, then lowered his voice. "Did you tell him?"

Retaw shook his head. "No, he figured it out himself. I guess he was there when we first met... two years ago. And he remembered."

"Well, that's something..." Chris suddenly stirred, but never woke up. Jonny looked at him and smiled, then lifted his eyes back to Retaw. "He's crazy, though, should you be worried about him knowing?"

"Maybe," Retaw began, "but I'm not." He shrugged, then fidgeted, and after a moment of silence, he nervously spoke up again. "Jonny, do you think I should tell Logella?"

Jonny raised his eyebrows at the stumping question he was present with, and took a bit to think of a response. "Do you want to tell her?"

"I just feel like I'm lying."

"Technically, you haven't lied, unless she's asked if you're human and you said yes. But I understand..." Jonny looked quickly around the room, then took a deep breath. "If you really feel that badly, then tell her. And don't be afraid of her reaction, because if she decides that you're weird, or crazy, or whatever, then you can just forget about her. Chris and I will be here for you, always."

"I don't wanna forget about her," Retaw solemnly replied. "But thank you."

-

 

Retaw stared expectantly at Logella. She looked down to the ground, eyebrows tightly knitted together. She was in a totally pensive state, and Retaw was waiting for her to continue her previous statement.

They had gone out that evening to a decent restaurant not far from either of their apartments. Retaw wore his usual casual attire, and Logella was wearing a simple, plain red shirt and pair of jeans. Neither were fancy in the least, but they both thought the other looked absolutely stunning. When they first sat down at a table, it was all Retaw could do not to stare at her. But he maintained his gentlemanliness and instead focused his gaze on the menu in front of him.

For three weeks, Retaw had been keeping his secret, aching over the decision of whether or not to tell Logella. There had been a few times where he tried, but they ended in failure for different reasons, most of the time being that he chickened out at the last second. After the waitress had taken their order and dashed away, Retaw allowed himself to look at Logella, trying to muster up the courage he had so often lacked.

Of course, a crowded restaurant was no place to reveal such a secret as his, so he would have to wait anyway. Yeah, that gave him plenty of time to think about how he would go about telling her. He could prepare what he would say, and attempt to anticipate her reaction. Deep down, though, he knew this procrastination would do no good at all. He'd already had a good three weeks of planning, and so far his progress was null.

Seventy-six hunger-satisfying minutes later, Retaw and Logella strolled out of the restaurant with no particular destination in mind. They wandered around aimlessly for about ten minutes, before they passed by a small park and Logella suggested they rest on one of the benches. Retaw agreed, and so they both sat down quietly and stared up at the starry night sky. The stars, it seemed, were much brighter than either of them could remember them being, and Retaw suddenly grew very sad.

He hated that he was sad; there he was, with this absolutely lovely woman, but all he could think about at that moment was his old home, and the love he lost so long ago. When he had left to return to Earth, he told himself it was because he missed Chris and Jonny so much, which was only partially true. He really did miss them, but he just felt like there was nothing there for him back on his home planet. Everything was peaceful, and everyone was happy, except for Retaw. No matter how hard he tried, nothing could fill the emptiness he felt.

So, he went to Earth. He figured that maybe Chris and Jonny could help him, and maybe they would be the ones to fill the void in his life. He was genuinely ecstatic to see them again, and for the first few weeks he mostly forgot about his prior sadness. Then he met Logella, and she helped, too. But the emptiness was still there, if only a small portion of what it had been. When Retaw looked up at those stars, he remembered that he didn't belong there.

He slowly turned to Logella. The moonlight was hitting her and making her look absolutely stunning. He was happy, no doubt about that, but he knew that he could never be as happy as he wanted unless he at least tried to tell Logella about his true life. He was a within arms reach of gathering his courage, when Logella turned to him and spoke.

"Walter, I need to tell you something," she quietly said. So, Retaw closed his mouth and waited for her to continue. She looked down at the ground, silently thinking over what to say next.

When she didn't speak again, Retaw decided to ask, "What do you need to tell me? Is everything OK?"

She lifted her eyes back up to Retaw, and smiled a little. "Things are great. Between you and I, things are absolutely wonderful. Walter, I've enjoyed these past few weeks so much." Logella reached forward and clasped Retaw's hands in her own.

"I have, too," Retaw smiled back, not panicking at all, even though Logella's tone was wrought with distress. He didn't notice that her smile was halfhearted.

"Walter, you're very different from everyone I've ever met," she sighed with a hint of nervousness, "and I'm a bit different, too."

"What do you mean?" Retaw asked, still as calm as before.

"I mean that..." Logella took her hands back, and turned away. Retaw watched her for a minute, and saw that she kept glancing back up at the sky. "I haven't exactly been honest with you."

"You haven't?"

"Oh, it's not like I completely lied to you or anything," Logella quickly said, returning her gaze to Retaw. "I just may have, you know, left out a few important details from what I've told you about myself."

Retaw wasn't upset, rather he was relieved. His guilt lessened a little knowing that Logella was hiding something, too. And he felt better about having to tell her, since she was being brave enough to tell him.

"I actually have something to tell you, too," Retaw replied with an odd excitement. Not wanting to appear to be rude, he quieted himself and added, "But you first."

"Right... I'm..." Logella stared at Retaw, eyes widening with fear. Then she leaned forward and kissed Retaw full-on. Retaw felt a rush of happiness course through his veins, but he wasn't fully aware of what was going on. When Logella pulled away, the frightened look had intensified, and she drew a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then, what seemed like minutes later, she finally opened them again and said, "I'm not... I'm not from Earth."

-

"Cigol?!" Retaw exclaimed, his eyes flying open. Logella was completely taken aback, and as she stared at Retaw, her face contorted into a widely confused shape.

"Retaw?" Not five seconds passed before tears were streaming down Logella's pale cheeks. She reached her shaking hand out to touch Retaw's face. "You can't be," she whispered.

Retaw laid his hand on top of hers and closed his eyes. Moments later, his skin was tinted its original purple color, and Retaw heard a shrill gasp escape from Logella's lips, though it was one filled with joy. Retaw opened his eyes again, and was almost instantaneously smothered by Logella's hair as she buried her head in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

"I thought I'd never see you again," he breathed.

"I can't believe it's you," she sobbed in return. "Retaw, you've been gone from me for so long."

"As have you, dear Cigol," Retaw said as he lightly stroked her hair. Logella sniffed and raised her head, staring deeply at Retaw.

"How is it, do you think, that we ended up together like this?"

"Fate," Retaw immediately replied. "It has to be."

Logella smiled a huge grin and nodded. "Wonderful. Oh, Retaw... when I was forced to leave, the only thing I thought of was how I would most likely never see you again. And I couldn't say goodbye. It killed me."

"It hurt... when I found out that you were gone. And I didn't know why you had left."

"I left because my father said it was for the best," Logella explained. "It was the time when the enemies were beginning their plan to take over. He said that I had to leave, and that I should only come back when it was safe."

"It is safe now," Retaw told her. "For two Earth years, the planet has remained peaceful."

"I had no idea," Logella said, her eyes softening a bit. "There was no way to communicate with anyone. My father never told me where to go when he said to leave. But I found this planet and thought it was nice. I studied the humans for a while and began to blend in. I just figured that I would stay here forever."

"We could go back," Retaw suggested. "If you want, we could go back."

Logella smiled and placed her hand on Retaw's cheek. "I would love to."

"There is one thing, though."

"My father is gone, isn't he?" she knowingly asked. "He was always stubborn, I can't imagine that he would have cooperated long enough to survive."

"He is gone, yeah," Retaw sadly affirmed. "So is my brother."

"Oh... I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's OK," Retaw said. "It was hard, at first, but I moved on. I could never replace him, of course, but Chris and Jonny... well, they're like brothers to me."

"They're so nice," Logella smiled. "Though there's something odd about Chris. Not, like, he's weird or anything. He's just... he's also different. Is he an alien, too?" she laughed.

"No," Retaw chuckled in return. "But he is the one who saved our world. Chris Martin, the Chosen One."

"Oh, wow! That makes a lot of sense..." Logella spaced out, completely encapsulated by the thoughts of having met the Chosen One without realizing it. "I really missed a lot, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did," Retaw laughed. "But we'll go back, and you'll never miss anything again."

Logella smiled at Retaw for a few moments, then jumped up and grabbed his hand, pulling him from the bench and down the sidewalk. "Come on, let's go tell the boys, then!"

"Chris and Jonny?" Retaw asked as he was being dragged along. Logella stopped, exaggeratedly rolled her eyes and threw her hands to her hips.

"No," she sarcastically said, "the Backstreet Boys. Yes, Chris and Jonny! I think they would rather like to know we're leaving."

"Oh, OK," Retaw said, not fully understanding what Logella was talking about because of the pop reference that went completely over his head. That and the fact that he could never really grasp sarcasm.

The two began to walk again, and it was another ten minutes or so before they reached Chris and Jonny's apartment. When they came to the entrance, they found that the door was already open, and Chris and Jonny were blocking it, both gaping and holding a hand each on a manilla envelope.

Logella stopped in front of them and raised her eyebrows. "What happened here?" she asked, and Chris looked up and blinked a few times.

"Well..."

~  
Jonny came home from the store, and he brought in the mail. It was the usual junk mail we always get. But there was this envelope. So, I opened it, and there was, like, all this money inside. And I gasped, and Jonny was like, "What's wrong?" Then I showed him the money and he was shocked, too. We counted it, and there was... what was it? Like, ten thousand pounds. Ten thousand!! And there was no address on it or anything, so we didn't know what the hell to do with it.

Then there was, like, this really loud screaming coming from the hallway. Jonny and I ran to the door to see what it was, and Guy was being dragged down the hall by some other guy who looked really similar to him. Then Guy saw us, and he forced the other guy to stop. And he looked at the envelope, which was still in my hand, and then he smiled at us. Then the other guy said, "Sorry about this." and he turned to Guy and said, "We'll just be leaving now."

And Guy screamed, "I'm not leaving!"

And the other guy said, "Yes, you are. You don't belong here, and you know it." He pulled at Guy's arm, but he wouldn't move. Then Guy started yelling again, something about how he's not crazy. Then the other guy told us about how he's Guy's brother, and that Guy escaped from a mental institution, and he apologized for any bother Guy had caused us, and said that he was talking Guy back, so there wouldn't be any more problems. And, well, Jonny and I didn't know what to say. It was all so... weird.

Guy and his brother finally left, but before they went Guy told us we were welcome. So, apparently he gave us the money? But I don't know why...  
~  
"And I don't know what we're gonna do with it," Chris finished. He looked down to the envelope, then back up at Jonny. "We can't keep it, right?"

"Maybe not," Jonny answered. "But we also can't really give it back, either. And... well, we could use it."

"Yeah," Chris quietly said. They both were silent for a minute, then Chris shook his head and turned to Retaw and Logella. "So, what's up with you guys?"

Retaw opened his mouth to answer, but by the time he did, half a sentence had already flowed out of Logella. "We're leaving Earth and going back home," she said with a wide smile, until she realized that Chris and Jonny didn't know who she really was.

"Home?" Chris asked.

"Logella and I knew each other, it seems. Cigol, I should say." Retaw smiled at Logella, then looked back at Chris. "It's a long story."

"Oh, OK... so, you guys are leaving?" Retaw nodded, and Chris continued, "When?"

"As soon as possible," Logella answered, linking her arm with Retaw's.

-

"Well... this is it, then," Chris said. He looked around at the empty room as though it had just been filled with all of Retaw's things, even though it looked the same as it always did. He and Jonny were standing opposite Retaw and Logella, a large group gathered in farewell.

"Yeah," Retaw simply said. "This is it."

"You're welcome back any time, you know," Jonny said. "Both of you."

"That's very kind of you," Logella smiled. "And I would say that you're welcome to visit us anytime, but," she began to laugh, "I don't think you have any way of getting there, do you?"

"That we do not," Jonny laughed back.

"I'm gonna miss having you around, Retaw," Chris sorrowfully mentioned. "It was great seeing you again."

"I can not thank you two enough for allowing me to stay here, and for aiding me in my quest to blend in." Retaw walked forward and hugged Chris, then Jonny. "You guys are the best friends I have ever had, and I can assure you that will remain true until the day I die."

Chris stared at Retaw for a few moments, completely touched, and then quickly said, "Retaw, I need to talk to you for a minute." He gestured to another room, and Retaw tentatively followed him in.

"What is it, Martin?" he asked. Chris took a deep breath and looked around for a bit.

"You asked Jonny about what happened," Chris began, "a few years ago. There... there was... Jonny doesn't actually know what happened. He knows... well, I ended up with a broken arm. He knows about that."

"Broken arm?" Retaw repeated with curiosity.

"I was walking home one day, and I was attacked by these... people... people that I knew. They worked with us, and they lived in this building, too. And... well, they knew. Retaw, everyone knew. Except for Jonny." Chris looked at Retaw with sad eyes, and frowned. "Jonny had no clue, you know, that I was in love with him. But I came home one day, and they were outside, and I guess I had been particularly flirty with Jonny that day, so they decided to mock me for it. I think they might have been a bit drunk... It got really out of hand, and they dragged me into some alley and started..." Chris stopped, his voice breaking and eyes filling with tears.

"They hurt you for that?" Retaw incredulously asked, and Chris nodded.

"You can't imagine the awful things humans do to each other because of little stuff like that. It doesn't even make sense..." Chris took a shaky breath and calmed himself. "Retaw, Jonny still doesn't know that that's why, he probably just thinks they mugged me... I don't want him to find out and then feel sorrier for me, or whatever."

"I won't tell him," Retaw reassured Chris.

"That was one of the reasons why it took so long for me to tell him how I felt. I was afraid that he'd react like that, too." Chris covered his eyes with his hand to catch the new batch of tears that were streaming out. Chris tried to stop himself, and said, "But it's all OK now, and all that horrible stuff is in the past. Jonny doesn't need to know."

"Thank you for telling me." Chris nodded, then they both left the room to return to Logella and Jonny, who seemed to be having a conversation about Chris.

"Oh my God, that's so sad! How could you do that?" Logella asked.

"I... don't know. If I could go back, I wouldn't have. I would have stayed, really stayed. But I guess I needed the time. I'm just glad it all worked out..." Jonny stared at the ground, haunted by his past. "God, I don't know what I'd do without him."

"You guys are great together. I don't even really know you, but I can tell." Logella quickly looked to her side, noticed Chris and Retaw standing in the doorway, but didn't bother to inform Jonny.

"This is gonna sound really... lame, but... well, Chris is basically everything to me. I would literally die without him. And every morning I wake up next to him and think about how lucky I am and how stupid I was to hurt him like that. I almost can't live with myself thinking about it. I don't even know why he would still be in love with someone who treated him so horribly."

"Because he always loved you, since the day you met, and that sort of thing doesn't just go away," a voice replied. Jonny spun around to see Chris right in front of him. "And being with you is amazing enough to forget anything you've ever done... wrong, or whatever."

Jonny smiled at Chris as Retaw walked over to Logella. "It's time," he said, grabbing Logella's hands. At that moment, the phone rang, and Jonny went to answer it.

"I can't believe this is actually happening!" Logella squealed.

"Me neither," Retaw beamed.

"When we get back, can we get married?"

"Of course." Retaw and Logella stared deeply into each other's eyes for a while, then Retaw turned to Chris.

"Thank you again, and tell Jonathan I said goodbye."

"Will do," Chris said, the feeling of tears shadowing over him once more. Retaw turned back to Logella, and they both closed their eyes. Chris was a bit surprised at what happened next; Retaw changed back to his purple color, Logella turned a bright pink, and they both shrunk to about a foot tall. Then, suddenly, they disappeared. Just like that, they were gone, and Chris sighed at the quiet emptiness around him.

When Jonny returned from the other room, he wasn't really shocked that Retaw and Logella had already left. In fact, he walked in grinning like crazy.

"Guess what?" he excitedly said.

"What?"

"I got my job back!!" Jonny exclaimed. Chris opened his mouth in shock, then threw himself at Jonny.

"That's amazing, babe!" Chris said, though his mouth was full of Jonny's shirt, as he'd buried his head in Jonny's shoulder during the tight embrace. "How did you manage that, though?"

"Well, apparently that new supervisor was recently fired for sexual harassment, and they realized that I was the best worker they had, and so they wanted to hire me back. I said yes, of course, but I also made them give me a raise," Jonny added with a mischievous smile.

"Jonny, you slick devil, you!" Chris laughed. Then he quickly gasped, and when Jonny asked him what was up, he responded in a low voice, "We should celebrate." He pulled back so he could see Jonny's face, and raised his eyebrows.

"Oh," Jonny cooed, "I like the way you think."

"It's settled then- chocolate cake!" Chris yelled, broke away from Jonny, and ran into the kitchen. Jonny laughed, though he was a little confused. He slowly turned in the direction of the kitchen, and Chris reappeared quickly with a big smile on his face. "Kidding!"

"You are crazy," Jonny said as Chris walked up to him. Chris said nothing, but decided to lift up Jonny's shirt to remove it. "Chris, this can't wait a minute?"

"Jonny," Chris began with a ridiculous emphasis, "what do you think we're doing? Going into the bedroom? That's so unoriginal."

"So we're just gonna..." Jonny fidgeted nervously. "Here? In the living room?!"

"Why not?" Chris asked with a shine in his eyes. "It's our living room, and it's not like anyone's gonna walk in."

Jonny turned around and gave the sofa a funny look. "My mum slept on that couch one time."

Chris was taken aback for a moment, and asked, "We made your mum sleep on the couch?"

"She insisted, remember?"

"Oh... Anyway, who cares? You sleep on that couch all the time, too." Chris ran his hand under Jonny's shirt and up his abdomen. "The only difference is now you're gonna be sleeping with me."

Chris started walking forward, pushing Jonny back to the sofa. Jonny would have tried to resist Chris's force, but the seductive look on Chris's face gave him the idea that the bedroom was too definitely too far away now.


End file.
